Pregnant with Cancer

Maybe Germs are Loving this Mild Winter?

2012-01-31T12:23:00.000-06:00

There is so much sickness going around where we live right now! Central Illinois has been experiencing some wonderful temps for the end of January. I am used to Illinois winters. I am sick of the snow and was not ready for it this year. Last year we had so much of it starting in November and it kept going. We had one storm that literally left one open lane of traffic and 15 foot walls of snow on either side. I wouldn't drive in that. If a car came the other way, what then? Ha!

So this year I kept hearing it would be a bad winter again. I got grumpy and hoped everyone would be wrong. So far? They are wrong. This time of year I'm usually convincing myself it's almost February! Winter will be over soon. Maybe it will warm up a little in March? Well my thermostat read 62 yesterday. 62 in January!!! I'm used to negative temperatures in January! I mean at least in the low teens. So everyone is getting sick. I know a lady who worked at an after hours doctor's office and out of the 8 strep tests she did only one of them was negative. That is a lot of strep! My girls are no exception. Gabbi has been sick with a bad cough. We all lost our voices and have been battling a cold. Mikayla started to get better then got worse again so I figured I better take her in. She has laryngitis, bronchitis and strep throat. She's happy about no school for a few days though.

I think these warm temps are a great breeding ground for the germs usually going around this time of year anyway. Now nothing is stopping them. My throat feels a bit scratchy at the moment. Not sure if I should worry...or not. I did expect some snow this winter. We have had a bit, but not much. Certainly nothing to be concerned about. I keep wondering if the winter will go out like a lion since it came in like a lamb. That's how it works I think!

NCLEX

2012-01-26T19:21:00.000-06:00

I have my date set to take the boards. It's coming up fast so wish me luck, send prayers, whatever it is you do! I know I can use it. This past few years I have overcome a lot. I went back to college, had cancer, had a baby, went back to college AGAIN and continued on. I went to nursing college and though at times it seemed like too much I made it and graduated with that Bachelor's degree. I am proud of all I have done and sometimes I sit back and wonder how the heck I did it.

I am relaxing tonight with family. My husband lost his grandmother this past weekend. We attended her funeral yesterday. The hubby's brothers were able to come and spend some unexpected time with us which is nice despite the circumstances. His grandma lived close to us and the my hubby's family is all in North Carolina. It has been very nice to have his brother's here. They stay up late visiting and playing cards. I take my little Gabbi and cuddle with her in bed. LOVE my cuddle time. :)

Technically Four Years

2012-01-18T22:27:00.000-06:00

So I have always considered my date of remission the day they called and told me that I was cancer free after my PET scan. Well I discussed with my Oncologist at my last appointment that they consider remission the day of your last treatment, not including radiation. I am not sure why. This would mean my remission date is October 22nd and would make me technically four years in remission. This also means that as of this next October I will be going to my doctor every 6 months instead of every 3 for checkups. I still consider that day that I heard my doctor say there was NO cancer the day I was free from it. That was the day I knew it was gone. I'll be glad to be considered 5 years out in October and the fear of it ever coming back is minimal. I will miss seeing my doctor and nurses so often though. They are like family to me.

I still have to take NCLEX. Please send prayers my way! Things are really moving for me. Thanks for all the love and support all of these years since I began blogging!

What to Expect Prize Giveaway!!!!

2012-01-16T11:43:00.006-06:00

Drum-roll please! The big winner of all three books in the What To Expect series is: Danielle!!! She followed me on twitter and followed what to expect as well gaining extra entries. Way to go Danielle!!!

I have an additional surprise now. I have 3 more books to give away! Each person will get one book. I will select the book to give you since more than one person might pick the same book. I will do it randomly. The winners of the 3 additional books are:

1. Leslie: You will get the What to Expect book, first in the series
2. Kristi: You will get the What to Expect the First Year book!
3. Sheryl: You will get the What to Expect the Second Year book!

Since I did not have a lot of entries this was a really great contest because I think the majority won something. Congratulations. I will be holding more contests in the future and I hope to get more entries next time. Remember to try for those extra entries. They are very easy to do by simply following me on Twitter, etc. :) I will be sending off the email addresses to the sponsor so we can get the books out and congratulations again!

Just to let everyone know I used: http://www.random.org/widgets/integers/ and gave each person or entry a number and that's how I selected the winners randomly by order of entry :)

Michael C. Hall Stands Up

2012-01-13T09:18:00.001-06:00

Pet Peeve of the Week and My Giveaway

2012-01-08T20:00:00.000-06:00

I really love to read news stories online. I rarely if ever watch the news on TV anymore. If I want to watch it I can watch it any time I feel like online. I love to do it and I catch up this way on current events whether they be related to an earthquake or even celebrity updates that I may admittedly get sucked into. I do however hate the way yahoo posts every news story I read on facebook. I don't think everyone needs to know what I'm reading. Do you? This is my pet peeve of the week!

Also please do not forget to enter my giveaway. Enter it for someone else if you do not need the books. These are great books. Whattoexpect.com graciously offered to sponsor this giveaway. I have a surprise. The big winner gets all 3 books, but I will be selecting an additional 3 entries to receive one of the books! So that is a total of 4 winners. I do not have many entries right now. Please scroll below to enter the giveaway. Also please leave your email address so I can contact you if you win! This is super important. There are ways to earn extra entries as well. Share the link, spread the word!

For your convenience I'm giving you the link to the giveaway! It ends January 14th. -->
http://www.pregnantcancer.com/2011/12/what-to-expect-giveaway.html

Enter My Giveaway!!!

2012-01-04T14:35:00.001-06:00

Enter the Giveaway by clicking below:

WHAT TO EXPECT GIVEAWAY!!!! THREE BOOKS!

You don't want to miss this one. Share the link. Pass it around. This is three books from WhattoExpect.com. You can enter for someone else if you don't need the books. These would be the BEST shower gift. If you can use one, you can give the other to a friend. Follow the link to see the titles included in the giveaway and enter. Extra entries available!

What To Expect Giveaway

2012-01-04T02:29:00.001-06:00

It has been such a long time since I have done a giveaway but I think I'm ready now that I have graduated from college. I love doing these things and now I have more time again finally.

I have four daughters. Each time I was pregnant I referred to the What to Expect series. Do you remember those books? They are amazing. I read them every single day. I marked my pages and referred back to them constantly. My sister was also pregnant at the same time as me during two of my pregnancies. I would relay the information to her as well. I had the answers because of these books! haha I have to admit it has been the source of a lot of the information I already had when I started nursing school. I had an advantage in the obstetrics and pediatrics courses because of the information I got in these books.

My favorite book was What to Expect When You're Expecting. I particularly loved the comparisons to the size of the growing baby inside me. It was just so amazing and really helped me to visualize how big my baby was. The books continue to What to Expect The First Year, and What to Expect The Second Year. I also referred to The First Year book. It helped me a lot and I continue to pull information from these books. They are such a great resource.

What to Expect.com has contacted me and offered to host a giveaway on my blog! I am honored to be a part of this as I whole heartily support these books. I know if you are pregnant or if you have a young child you will love these books! For this giveaway I will be giving away the first 3 books of this series including:

One of my readers will receive:

What to Expect When Expecting
What to Expect the First Year
What to Expect the Second Year

To enter this giveaway you must follow Pregnant With Cancer publicly, and leave a comment telling me which book you will enjoy the most. Please include your email. You must do this before you complete any of the extra entries! You can enter for someone else if you wish. These would make a great baby shower gift as well. You can always share one of the books with a friend.

Extra entries – leave a comment telling me you have done each of these:

*Followed me on Twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/sandilynn1975

*Followed What to Expect on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/WhatToExpect

*Tweet about this giveaway up to once a day (leave the link in your comment)

*Post this giveaway on your blog (leave the link to your post)

This giveaway will end on January 14th, 2011. Good Luck!!

Birthday!

2011-12-29T00:05:00.002-06:00

Today is my birthday. I celebrate another year of life! Yay :) Almost didn't make it here. Already got some good presents from the family. I'll post pics tomorrow. My birthday is the 29th. It's 12:05 a.m. I waste no time at all. haha

A Star is Born! Haha

2011-12-27T18:40:00.000-06:00

Christmas and Birthdays

2011-12-26T13:19:00.001-06:00

This month was always a big one for me. We have Christmas, my birthday, my mom's birthday and New Years this month. This will be the second year I have added the anniversary of my father's death from pancreatic cancer. He passed away December 27th, 2009. I miss my dad each and every day. He loved this time of year. There was nothing like Christmas and family and lots and lots of food for my dad. I can miss him now with a smile instead of all the tears. I do still get sad but I also remember the good times more than those awful sad times when he was so sick.

I also lost a dear friend on December 28th, 1992. I remember her as well. Her life was cut too short in a car accident at the tender age of 16. Miss you Rocky. Miss you dad. Always remembered! Never forgotten.

As for me, I will be another year older on the 29th. I am finally at the age where I no longer have the desire to TELL you how old I'll be. I don't lie but I do like to leave people guessing. haha Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!

Village Photos

2011-12-23T11:08:00.000-06:00

If you are reading through my blog and pictures are missing they should be back eventually. Village Photos has been down now for about 4 months I think. I am so upset because I have been paying for a service that I am not receiving. I am assuming they will see some lawsuits at the end of this. You can't have people pay for a service that does not exist. First their site was just down. I only got information from other people complaining on an ebay message board. Now I see a notice when I go to their page. They have made up a lot of excuses but it's come down to them moving their facility to a new location. The problem is their site has said they hope to be up in a week for a month now. I am beginning to lose hope. I have linked my pictures to my blog through them for a very long time now. Hopefully there won't be too many dead links. Just know that they should be back up. I just do not know for sure when.

Dairy Free Chocolate Chip Cookies. Seriously!

2011-12-22T21:49:00.000-06:00

Since Gabbi has had this allergy to milk I have had to be quite creative. I have made her wacky cake which is dairy free. If you don't know what that is, you need to google it or go to allrecipes.com. There are many variations but I have my favorite. I have always wished Gabbi could have a freshly made chocolate chip cookie. That seemed like an impossible thing to whip up since it requires butter and chocolate chips. I managed to find the way to do it today! Here is my "secret".

First look for this at your local grocery store:

The above is milk free. It does contain soy. The chips are made from chocolate liquor and cocoa butter which is vegan. It DOES say to add butter, however I substituted 1 cup Crisco plus 2 tbsp of water for the butter. The back of the container of Crisco says that this is the substitution for 1 cup of butter which is what these cookies require.

This is my happy little camper tearing into her cookies :)

And this is the actual cookie. They turned out nice golden brown. The texture is a little more gritty than a regular chocolate chip but great regardless. I thought they were wonderful and a great substitution for the milky alternative. :)

I Did It!

2011-12-11T22:28:00.001-06:00

It's been many years since I made the decision to go back to school. I was stopped in my tracks by cancer not to mention having another baby. It was a rough road but I made it. I beat cancer, I had my baby, I went back to school AGAIN and Saturday my dreams came true. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree. Thanks to all those that supported me and encouraged me! I am on cloud nine and still can't believe it.

Nursing Books for Sale

2011-11-22T19:55:00.001-06:00

I'm going through the ones I don't use anymore. I have quite a few for sale. I try to offer fair prices that compete with those on Ebay. If you are interested here is a link to all those for sale:

http://www.ebay.com/sch/trust404/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25&_trksid=p3686

If you are not interested, well, don't look. I cannot wait until December 10th!!!!!!

Oh and I have my first interview on December 2nd. Wish me luck.

Graduation in 31 Days!!!!

2011-11-08T19:52:00.001-06:00

I'm getting so crazy anxious and nervous with finals coming up. There is so much to do, and so little time. It's like HERE now. I am so ready. This blog has followed me through it all. I haven't spent as much time here lately because I've been focused on my studies but I'm on my way back! I am so ready to graduate.

I'm on the top row here 5th one from the left.

Here I am, all ready to graduate. December 10th, 2011. That's the day I will be in my cap and gown.

So What's up With Entrecard?

2011-10-24T12:40:00.002-05:00

My widget has not been working and I keep getting errors. Now I go to campaign on the website and it is not finding widgets on anyone's blog. I need details! Thanks to all of those entrecard bloggers for any replies! I want to know as well when it might be fixed.

It Makes Me So Sad, Please Help Spread the Word!

2011-10-18T17:27:00.000-05:00

I would like for people to share my story. Tell others. Spread it around. Tell people chemo may be possible in pregnancy. Watch the shock on pretty much everyone's face. You'll get that a lot. I just read a story about a mother who decided to not have chemo so she could save her unborn baby's life. I don't know the details, like what chemotherapy she had, but I am practically jumping out of my skin here. So many mothers think their only choice is to delay treatment. This is what ultimately resulted in this woman not surviving her cancer. The baby did survive but the mother did not. I wish I could have told her that she could have both the chemo and the baby. At least present the option to her. I could show her my Gabbi and say "see how healthy she is?" It can be done! I realize not every person is the same and maybe she had a chemo that was not possible to have while pregnant but honestly there are so many more options than once thought. I am so frustrated when I hear people assume my baby died because I had chemo while pregnant. I think it's been long enough. Gabbi is 4 now. It's time to do more research and spread the word! How many mothers will abort because they think they have to? How many mothers will delay treatment and die? These are not the only options. I myself was told I should abort by a specialist. But that is based on old facts, not the new ones. So it's time to change the way of thinking!

Where Have I Been?

2011-10-15T17:18:00.000-05:00

I hate those blog posts where people post about how they haven't been posting. Don't you hate those? Yeah. So I will leave that part out. School has been keeping me crazy busy and even today I am crazy busy studying for a test. I decided to take a few moments and fill in my blogger world on what is happening in my life. I graduate in 55 days. I am super excited. I have come a long way to get here. It's hard for me because I feel some take it for granted. I never would have guessed even 10 years ago I would be here today. Honestly when I got sick it seemed impossible that I could get here but I'm doing it. One day at a time. It's nearly pushed me over the edge of insanity but here I am.

Gabbi will be four in December. How is that for hard to believe? I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant with cancer and now my beautiful miracle baby is a healthy, happy almost 4 year old. Time flies. Pretty soon she'll watch her momma graduate. She's my little inspiration too. Don't ever give up on your hopes and dreams. Nothing can stop you, but you.

I've Done it All, But What's the Hardest??

2011-09-13T09:20:00.001-05:00

Right now? I would say nursing school is the hardest thing I've done. Considering I'm a mom to 4 girls and well, a husband. That's hard work! lol I also was pregnant with cancer. I went through some serious trials as a child well up until I turned 18 and moved on with my life as an adult. I have always led what I called an interesting life. Hang out with me long enough, you'll see what I mean. There is never a lack of excitement. Nursing school is hard work. It's so hard that when I hear of someone coming in and just starting I feel SUPER sorry for them. You have to give up your life basically for 2 years. I did 2 years of prerequisites. Then I went to the actual nursing school for 2 years. I will graduate in December. It has been a long road and honestly there have been days when I asked myself "What the hell do you think you are doing???" I never had any idea I would be all grown up and say hey, you know what I want to be when I grow up? A nurse! That's supposed to be decided when you're young right? Well, when I was in high school my whole goal in life was to be on the news. I was going to major in radio and television broadcasting. I was going to minor in journalism. I had it all planned. Then I was 19 and got married. That was where it all changed.

I have been overloaded with homework, stress, zero family time. It's hard. I want nothing more than to cuddle with my Gabbi and pinch her little cheeks. Instead I have to tell her to go play with daddy because I have homework to do. It's hard stuff. I am getting there. It's so close I can taste it. The fear never leaves. One of my classes has 3 total tests. 2 worth 20% and the last worth 30% of my grade. There is absolutely NO room for error. You have got to be good at this stuff now. It's the home stretch!

School and Checkups

2011-08-12T15:52:00.000-05:00

I had another healthy checkup this month. I saw my Oncologist who decided to schedule my next appointment for mid December. He wants to see me after I graduate. He offered letters of reference and referral. He keeps telling me that which is awesome.

I guess in some ways I'm kind of lucky. My desire is to work in Oncology. If I had not gone through all I went through I never would have chosen Oncology. I saw it as sad and depressing. I think the whole experience opened my eyes. When people ask how I can handle working in that field I am reminded of when I was sick. As soon as you tell someone you have cancer they look at you like you're already dead. It's true. I hated telling anyone because I wanted to stress to everyone that I wasn't a walking dead woman. I was a person, fighting an illness that I fully intended on beating. I would go in and get chemo for hours. I would sit next to other people who were getting their treatments. I would talk to them and get to know them. They all have a story. They have brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and children who love them. They are human and being around them wasn't scary or depressing at all. It was nice having someone to sit there and talk to that knew what you were feeling. It's hard to explain but I knew after a few treatments in that Oncology was the field I needed to be a part of. I'm getting close! I hope I can inspire even one patient. That will make it all worth it.

Votes

2011-07-27T16:50:00.000-05:00

I entered a contest with a pic of my "favorite" guy on facebook. It's really simple. The pic with the most likes wins. I have a little over 40 now. Those in the lead have over 100!!! I was winning in the beginning and now I'm getting creamed. I would really appreciate any votes I can get. So simply follow this link to my photo: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=523108322886&set=o.28162239860&type=1&theater

To like this photo you'll have to first like the page Johnny's Italian Steakhouse. After that just click like on my photo. I appreciate the votes. I would win a few steaks. Honestly I just want to actually win something, but you can't win unless you try!

Relaxation and Wanting a Beach

2011-07-27T14:15:00.000-05:00

This vacation has been about rest, relaxation and family. I have missed my girls and really enjoyed the time off to spend with them. It's almost over. I never really went anywhere. I read about everyone going to exotic places taking these great vacations and I haven't stepped foot out of boring Illinois. I am ready to leave this place and do something exciting. I need a beach. I want a beach!!! I graduate in December. Maybe I'll find that beach someday.

GRRRRRR Spam!

2011-07-18T17:11:00.000-05:00

OK I had decided to remove the captcha things again because after all, who wants to type in a bunch of little letters to confirm your comment right? I figured it would increase the comments on this blog. All it did was increase my spam. I get so many at night it is not even funny. Blogger does seem to catch a lot but I still get them all in my email. I am beyond irritated. I want to make this blog easier for my genuine readers but this isn't a place to just promote your product. Back to the captchas. Sorry folks. And phhhhhhhhbbbbbt to the spambots!

Does Not Reading a Book Series Make you More Cool?

2011-07-14T18:42:00.000-05:00

This irritates me more than about anything that's irritated me lately. My first daughter was born in 1997. One year later we started renting a house that was bigger since we were starting a family. I got a subscription to Disney magazine for my then 1 year old daughter. In that magazine it frequently wrote book reviews for kids. I love to read so this is something that always caught my eye. I love Fantasy, Inspirational and even Horror. My favorite author list is about as odd as you can get. I love J.K Rowling, Janette Oke and Stephen King. Seriously.

I read a review for a book that was pretty popular. It was called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I needed something new to read so I bought it. I fell in love with Harry, Hogwarts and the whole magical world. I have always loved magical stories since I was a kid. This was perfect. I read the books as they came out. Each one was as good as the last to me. Then they started making movies and it exploded all at the same time into a giant craze. Now people who don't read the books have this idea that somehow because they are not into the series they are cool or something. I hear people get angry about it. I wouldn't watch that movie!!! I'll never read those books!!! It's so stupid!!! ooooookay. Why do people get mad because something got so popular? Star Wars got big. Star Trek was huge. Now it's Twilight. I haven't read a single Twilight book but someday maybe I will. I haven't watched the movies either. I like the Southern Vampire Series though. I have read 3 of those and plan to read more. For those who do not know, there is a series based on the books. It's called True Blood. Yeah....it was a book. Surprise.

I love to read and I'm a Harry Potter fan. I'm a mom and my kids don't read the books. I do. I love it. I think J.K. Rowling is one talented author. She brings people into a world of magic and fantasy. The movies are great too. The books are by far better. I hate to say not watching a movie doesn't make you any more "cool". Those of us who are fans don't think you're cool by bashing it either. If you are truly not interested then my guess is that you wouldn't need to draw so much attention to yourself about not being interested.

Mixed Feelings

2011-07-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

This August I will start my final semester of nursing school. I am so anxious to get started and graduate in December. This blog has followed my whole journey through school. I started nursing school right after my dad died. It has all been a really stress filled time for me. I have enjoyed school as stressful as it has been. I have made a lot of great friends. I have to say though, I am still not super anxious to get back to the stress. We have SO much work to do once we are there. Literally when we start it's non-stop. We have very high expectations there. This is a good thing if you want a good nurse but it also means we as students are pushed to our limits.

I am really really enjoying my vacation! I have been relaxing and visiting family. I have had some stress over the past few weeks with family and then being sick. I have a nasty cold combined with laryngitis right now. Other than that? I am great. The thought of vacation coming to an end in 1 month is sad to me, however it also means I'm that much closer to my graduation!

Blog Taking FOREVER to Open

2011-07-07T17:09:00.000-05:00

I noticed these past few days that my blog was taking forever to load. A big no no in the world of blogging is having a page that takes forever to open. People just do not hang around waiting forever for a page to load. I try to clean up my page on a regular basis and archive things weekly. Basically I had only one clue. It seemed what it was stuck on was something called track.mybloglog.com. I noticed it was taking FOREVER to load this. I didn't even really remember using this script so I decided to look it up and the website just kept taking me to the yahoo main page. I figured it was something I no longer needed if I couldn't remember what it was. I removed the script and my page loaded for me instantly after that. I am not sure what was going on, but I'm hoping it's fixed now! I know my attention span is limited when it comes to loading blog pages as well!

What I've Been Watching, Please Comment

2011-07-06T22:23:00.001-05:00

I don't mean to comment here, but that would be great too. I have been watching this man's youtube video posts. He has melanoma and the treatments have not worked. The cancer has spread. I commented on his video but I wonder if maybe we all showed some support maybe he would be comforted. I know when I was sick just hearing the kind words from others made me feel uplifted. Thanks to anyone who posts a comment.

Pregnant With Ovarian Cancer Part 3

2011-06-28T19:30:00.000-05:00

Video Diary Number 2 of a Fellow Pregnant With Cancer Survivor Liz

2011-06-27T23:37:00.000-05:00

I posted the first video to this quite some time back. If you haven't seen it, go here: http://youtu.be/vgQEjBwO5l4

The second video is here and I will post the third tomorrow.

Working During Cancer Treatments?

2011-06-23T19:56:00.001-05:00

I hear about people working and continuing with their lives all the time and it's crazy to me because I was totally bedridden. I couldn't breathe if I moved. I would go into crazy coughing fits and feel like knives were stabbing me in my left shoulder. After several chemos I was feeling a ton better though still very tired and weak. I had a hard time standing for long, much less cleaning the house. I was pregnant as well, so I wonder how much of it was the combination of the two. I did have a specialist tell me without treatment I wouldn't last 3 weeks though. So I was obviously pretty bad. I hate that I never had a specific determination of staging. I could not have a CT or a PET scan. I was pregnant. I had an MRI initially and they saw the tumor but they had to biopsy it to confirm it. The MRI was only of my upper body so I was always left with this nagging curiosity about what stage I was? I read the papers my doc sent with me to the specialist. He referred to it as a large bulky tumor. I know it was up in the lower part of my neck and in my chest. He once referred to it as a volleyball...which if you know me, you know there isn't a lot of room in my chest for a volleyball.

I go to school with a woman who has been battling cancer yet she perseveres and I have so much respect for her. When people see her and think wow, good for her. I think wow, oh my God, isn't she tired? Are her legs burning from standing so long? Is she out of breath? Does she feel faint? How is her pain? I know how I felt and I know I could not have worked. I couldn't stand in front of the stove to cook. I was about 28 weeks pregnant when I went to a wedding and even then I watched in envy while others danced at the reception because I could not do it. I didn't have the energy and it made me hate everyone who did. Luckily that is all behind me now. I just can't imagine having cancer and working or going through school. I know how hard it is. I couldn't have pushed myself. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. I couldn't move....until after several treatments. If others were too sick to work, or if you were able to work leave a comment. I'm curious how many others were in the same position as myself without the ability of getting around like that.

Could Gyro be one of the Most Mispronounced Words?

2011-06-21T23:51:00.002-05:00

It seems that this word is so frequently mispronounced that no one ever says it right. Recently my husband ordered one at our local sub express. This has been a new item on the menu and we absolutely love them. Well when he went in and asked for a gyro (pronounced *yeer-oh*), the lady had no clue what he was talking about. She stared at him blankly and then said ooooh you mean a *guy-ro* (how she pronounced it). Of course my husband just said yeah sure. But this is incorrect. If you look it up you'll see it is pronounced properly in this way:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/audio.pl?gyro0002.wav=gyro

I'm not trying to give a grammar lesson here, but if you're going to sell them, my recommendation is to know how to pronounce it. It's crazy if everyone comes in ordering it differently but I have heard this word said in so many different ways it's not even funny. I'm hoping if someone is coming along and wants to know how to say it, they can simply look here. There you go. I've helped you out today. ;)

Hmmm Cupcake or Chocolate Chip Cookie?

2011-06-15T00:00:00.002-05:00

Can't decide? To hell with it. Have both!!!! I love the facebook page Bake it In a Cake. They are aaaaamazing. They also have a website here: http://bakeitinacake.com/. The possibilities are endless. I saw a picture of a chocolate chip cookie in a cupcake so I had to try it. They turned out PERFECT. :) I never found a recipe. I just made it myself based on the idea. It wasn't hard. See for yourself....and drool. :)

Omelet or Omelette?

2011-06-12T13:50:00.001-05:00

Apparently it can go either way but Americans prefer the Omelet spelling. I am not like most Americans and apparently neither are other Americans I converse with because we chose the Omelette spelling. My computer is editing me or trying to correct this spelling but it is how I have always spelled it and preferred to spell it. So I think I will leave it. I have been watching an excessive amount of Food Network lately so I started getting some great ideas for meals. I will be making deep fried mac and cheese wrapped in bacon this week for some family coming over. That's gonna be fun. I make a killer lasagna...seriously. It's perfect I have to say.

Today I made a taco omelette. I threw some ingredients together. I didn't find a recipe because this was something I already knew how it should be in my head. If I LIKED eggs I would add to my own onions and some tomato. I might even possibly add a few chives. Since I do not like eggs I just go by what everyone else in my family tells me. I look for the beautiful golden brown color to tell me it's ready. I make sure the insides are covered in cheese and good and melty. I added a nacho cheese and a cheddar cheese. I sprinkled some taco flavoring into the eggs as well as using taco flavored meat. I wanted the taco flavor to extend beyond just the filling. I added some other ingredients as well like taco sauce and a bit of sour cream in the actual eggs. It turned out great. Everyone loved them. I made tacos last night, which is why I thought this up. :)

Proactiv

2011-06-07T17:02:00.001-05:00

I haven't been using it as much lately since my face hasn't really been needing it. So I have a bunch of extra bottles that are sort of stock piling around here. I decided to sell them on ebay. I use Proactiv and I also use Oil of Olay products which I LOVE. They are awesome and do the best job at moisturizing my face. I also like Smashbox which has a great under eye brightener. It's amazing. I can say first hand Proactiv does indeed work. HOWEVER. I have a huge suggestion for those interested in trying it. Use it faithfully, morning and night. Once you clear up, don't use it every day. Change it up. The reason is that eventually your face can and will adjust to it. Mine did. I used it for like 8 years. It had been amazing and when I broke out again it didn't control it. I stopped using it and stopped using anything with Benzoyl Peroxide for a couple of months, then used it again and guess what? It worked. Now I just use it occasionally and I am fine. I needed it way back in the day...but not as much anymore. I never had "acne" but I would have the bad breakout. It always opens the pores and exfoliates so the skin just looks better. It can dry out the skins so a good moisturizer is a MUST.

If you are interested in the proactiv I listed them pretty low on ebay. Not sure how much I will get but what the heck right?

http://shop.ebay.com/trust404/m.html?_trksid=p4340.l2562

Facebook Support Group

2011-06-05T19:50:00.000-05:00

I decided to start a support group through facebook. If you are looking for support, have questions, etc I'm hoping this will be a good place to go. I am here to answer questions on my blog too so by all means, if you have a question, I will do my best to answer it. I see through searches that there are a lot of people coming to my blog by searching for things like "my wife is pregnant with cancer" or just "can I have chemo while pregnant" etc. I hope to help as many people as possible in my lifetime. I won't be stopping at just offering support. I am getting involved by going into nursing and into the field of oncology. I hope as I increase my own knowledge that it will continue to help others. Here is the link to my facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_168089259921374

Please let me know if for some reason it does not work.

Baking a Wacky Cake With Gabbi

2011-06-02T20:15:00.001-05:00

I talked so much about Wacky Cake this week that I decided to make it. Gabbi loves it. She can only have certain cake because it has to be 100% milk free. She has the milk allergy as most know. Since she is 3 I have considered letting her try more things, however recently I gave her something and she seemed to get some discomfort. No puking but a couple of dry heaves and a bad nights sleep. I decided to hold off on it for awhile longer yet. In the meantime Gabbi can enjoy this cake that has NO milk, butter etc. Just by coincidence it has no eggs either. It was introduced during the Depression era when milk and eggs were scarce. They figured out a way to still have cake. The secret? Vinegar. That is right. Vinegar in a cake. It combines with the baking soda and there you have it. A perfect chocolate cake that my little girl can enjoy. I make a homemade frosting to go with it that you can find on this blog. If you look through the tags for my blog on the right hand side, scroll down a bit and look through the list for the word "frosting" you will find my recipe. It is PERFECT and a huge hit around this house.

Gabbi and I had a ton of fun tonight. It's just an 8x8 cake. Neither she nor I need a huge cake around this house so I make a small one. For that recipe I'll just post this link: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Wacky-Cake-VIII/Detail.aspx

There are plenty of different recipes online. This is the one I like. Snickerdoodles (the cookie) are milk free too. Gabbi can have those. I love finding treats I can make for her. People are surprised at how moist and delicious this cake is. I prefer it over a box mix any day of the week and over any other homemade chocolate cake I've ever made. It's delicious. Here are pics of us tearing up the kitchen making the cake. It was the very first time Gabbi actually got to help me make it!!! She did a great job. :)

For those who do or do not notice, yes I have a beta fish who lives on my counter. I love him and he's been with us for a couple of years. This guy has had a long life for a fish I think. I keep meaning to check the lifespan for those fish. His tank needs a cleaning. I had a couple snails in there keeping it clean but they died. They do a GREAT job at cleaning that tank. I need to get a couple more.

Sunny Days

2011-05-30T13:38:00.001-05:00

Finally! It's hot. I see sun. I am so sick of a rain I could puke. Quite literally I am just tired of it. I hear it's supposed to be around 95 today. I am all for it. I am not so fond of the humidity they are saying will come along with it, but oh well. Take the good with the bad. I am tired of winter. We had so much snow this past winter starting way back in November. We had so much snow they didn't know what to do with it all. I am ready for swimming, sun tans, and vacations! :) I am sure there will be a fair share of parties this summer as well. Bring it on! :)

Cute Video of the Year

2011-05-29T15:50:00.000-05:00

I already posted this to my facebook and I'm sure most have already seen it, however if you haven't, well you have to. It's one of the cutest videos I have ever seen. If you do not saw awwwww then, well, you are stronger than me. haha

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-US&from=sp&vid=32e6e17e-c409-4d4e-b966-996c505c0398&src=FLCP:sharebar:embed:null" target="_new" title="Momma And Kitten Sleep In Blissful Cuteness">Video: Momma And Kitten Sleep In Blissful Cuteness</a>

Add My New Domain Name to Your Blog Roll and I'll add Yours

2011-05-26T21:24:00.001-05:00

I changed my domain name. I need to start promoting this link http://www.pregnantcancer.com. It took me a long time to get what I got with the old link so if you have me with my old link or if you'd just like to add the new one please do so. The old one is still ok because it will lead you here anyway. I just want to be sure that anyone who googles cancer in pregnancy is able to find my blog. I believe it is helpful to hear someone's story that has a positive ending. So many people come here wondering because they themselves, a loved one, sister, wife is pregnant with cancer. It's a scary thing to go through.

That being said, if you add me to your blog roll or put my link on your page, drop your link here and I'll add it to my blog roll. :) Thanks!

Love Thunderstorms

2011-05-25T20:16:00.000-05:00

I realize that the weather has been horrible this spring but I usually absolutely love thunderstorms. I almost feel like that small pleasure has been taken from me because of all the damaging tornadoes this year. I normally never really worry too much about it. I have a nice full basement complete with a kitchen, etc. This year though I have been a little more watchful just because of the fact that the storms seem to be changing rather quickly from just a storm to dangerous. It hasn't been that way here yet and after another round of watches and warnings it seems to have passed again.

I do love a good storm though. I find them so relaxing. I like to just sit and watch. I love the smell of a thunderstorm on a really hot day.

On a different note I got another copy of Health Magazine today. The letter of the month was referring to the Pregnant With Cancer story. So cool. She won a camera for being chosen the letter of the month. Sweet!!! :)

Finally Bought My Own Domain Name! :)

2011-05-23T14:09:00.001-05:00

You may be redirected when coming to my blog. My new blog link is www.pregnantcancer.com. I really felt it was time that I owned my own blog name. I have had this blog for a long time. I think it has helped people as well. My desire when starting this blog was just to have a place to pour my heart out when I was so worried and scared about whether or not I was going to be ok, and if I could have my baby while going through such a horrible experience. We did make it and now my goal is to get that word out. I want other women who are scared to find this blog and not just all the worst case scenarios out there that aren't offering hope. What we need at this time is hope and faith. I think it's important to think positively when going through something like this. Chemo can be given during pregnancy. Cancer can be beaten during pregnancy and the baby can make it too. I noticed that I had to re-add the networked blog widget from facebook. If you follow me through facebook please re-add me. My blog will be under www.pregnantcancer.com instead of www.pregnantcancer.blogspot.com. Both links still work however. Eventually you may get redirected. I'm so glad to make this change. It's very exciting. Share the link, spread the word. I hope to help as many people as I can.

Summer Break and Bad Dreams

2011-05-17T08:55:00.000-05:00

When I mention bad dreams you're probably thinking zombies, or monsters chasing me, or trying to eat me. My bad dreams are more of the dork variety. (dork, nerd, geek you get the picture) You see, I am on summer break. I have had a pretty grueling semester with deadlines all over the place. I had papers to write, health fairs to contribute to, tests to study for, and more. It ended so suddenly that it feels like I still have more to do. I feel like I should NOT be sitting here pondering what book I will read for fun, where I will go today or if I should shop or go to the zoo. I know, it's sad but true.

I had a dream last night that I was wrong. I wasn't supposed to be on vacation and I had missed two days of class. I then wondered what I could ever do to convince my professors that it was ok. Pathetic. I know. I had dreams at the beginning of the semester about being late to clinical. That is a very bad thing so I used to dream I was all the time. I am sleeping so well lately and loving every minute of it.....except when I have nightmares that I shouldn't be doing it. =/

The Reason I Blog

2011-05-14T17:40:00.000-05:00

It's true, I probably would have blogged about the cancer regardless, but this is the face of all I hoped for throughout that pregnancy. She is the reason my symptoms got worse, and got my butt to the doctor. She is the reason I looked forward to life, instead of fearing death. She is what gave me hope. My Gabriella Faith is now 3 1/2 years old. Amazing. :)

Statistics and Numbers Sometimes Mean Nothing

2011-05-06T12:11:00.002-05:00

One thing that always drove me a bit batty when I was sick was the fact that as soon as someone heard I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma and knew that the cure rate was pretty good, they acted like "oh she's fine." Wait. Let me get this straight. Because a cancer has a high cure rate I am ok? I am fine? I am not sick? Or I am not as sick as someone who say has, breast cancer?

I want to set the record straight here. Hodgkin's Lypmphoma DOES have a good cure rate. It used to be almost ALWAYS fatal until they discovered the chemo regimen that could kill it. The specific drugs have changed over time. The most frequently used now would be ABVD. I have described it a few times on this blog. If you are interested in reading up on Hodgkin's and it's history here is a link: http://knol.google.com/k/hodgkin-lymphoma#

Going back to what I was saying, I suffered for a long time. I was so sick. I had a pressure in my neck that became constant. I walked around, feeling like someone had their thumbs jammed into the sides of my neck 24/7. It was always worse at night. I would have shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping, eventually wheezing and more. I felt so tired. I had a hard time walking up stairs. Talking became a chore. I got short of breath after one or 2 words. It sounded like a I had run a mile. I felt embarrassed about it. I didn't know why I was so short of breath. I had symptoms that went undiagnosed from around 2004 to 2007. By the beginning of 2007 I was packing up my house and moving. I was working very hard and cleaning, packing up boxes etc. I was pale white. I was wheezing constantly. I was so short of breath I felt like I must be sick or have asthma or something.

There were a couple of times I had coughed up some blood. When I say that, I don't mean I threw up blood. I mean, I coughed up flecks of blood. It almost looked like....a clot. Really it was odd. I told myself, that I had gotten some blood from coughing so hard. I had developed a nasty cough after all. I kept a lot of it to myself. I was scared and the docs kept saying I had an enlarged thyroid. I had a CT of my sinuses. Long story short, by the time April of 2007 rolled around I slept with 5 pillows behind my back so I could sleep sitting straight up. I was so sick. If I layed flat, I could not breathe. I had to sit up. I felt choked 24/7. I gasped for breath. I finally saw a doctor who LISTENED. I had an MRI. They found the cancer. I was in surgery on May 2, 2007. They diagnosed me for sure about a week later. The piece of tumor they had gotten out was so hard they could not cut it with the scalpel. They had to send it to the Mayo clinic for diagnosis.

While waiting for treatment to begin and laying in my bed I could not move left. I could not move right. I had to stay totally still because if I moved I could not breathe. If I moved I would be thrown into such a hideous coughing fit that it hurt. I felt pains stabbing into my left shoulder blade like someone jabbing a knife repeatedly into my shoulder. I kid you not. This is how it felt. I watched TV in my bed. I could not hug my children. I could not talk well. I thought i was dying. I knew right then and there, that if it was a terminal cancer I would want to die right then. I knew without a doubt it was wrong to make a person suffer like that. I knew it. It was hideous and cruel. Every second. Every breath hurt. Each moment ticked by like a snail crossing a highway. It dragged on and I suffered more.

So....when someone says that Hogkin's is so curable, don't forget that this is what we want for every cancer, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't cause pain and that it doesn't hurt and that people don't die from it, because they do. Don't minimize it. I felt at death's door and they told me I wasn't going to last 3 weeks without treatment. My life was saved by these chemo drugs. My daughter's life was saved as well. We are here because of it and I'm thankful for it. I have met new people recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's and they get the same thing. We are thankful for the cure rate but it still hurts and it's still scary as hell. Remember that.

Check it out!

2011-04-29T11:34:00.000-05:00

Health Magazine

My story is in this issue. Check it out!

The Toughest 9 Months: Pregnant With Cancer

2011-04-23T11:29:00.000-05:00

The Toughest 9 Months: Pregnant With Cancer

This is a link to the magazine article posted on their website.

Cancer Checkup Number.....What?

2011-04-23T00:43:00.000-05:00

I forgot! I don't remember anymore how many follow ups I have had. The first year was the hardest. Each check up I was terrified. I had nightmares. I don't anymore. I even have to have my husband tell the doctor any issues I may have dealt with because I forget or just don't think it's something to worry about. It's probably good he comes with me. I let a lot of things go I suppose. They do say nurses are the worst patients. I have forgotten though how many follow ups I have had. I know I am in my 3rd year of remission. At 5 years I'll just go every 6 months for checkups instead of every 3.

I have been exhausted lately. School is killing me I swear. I will be done with this semester in 3 weeks. Hopefully I'll get a much needed break. I need rest! It's hard and wearing me down but I'll get there. I have to keep my eye on the finish line.

Health Magazine

2011-04-22T11:31:00.000-05:00

Buy the new Health Magazine with Miranda Lambert on the cover. My story along with a few others is featured in it! :) Be sure to check it out and come back to my blog and let me know what you think. It's pretty cool. I was interviewed for that in the past couple of months and it's in this months issue. It's so wonderful to really be spreading our story!

Kittens

2011-04-10T20:46:00.000-05:00

Just a note to all, our paralyzed kitty passed away this past week. I am not sure what all was wrong with him, but it was evidently more than I thought. The girls have been sad. The momma cat was looking for him after he passed. It's too bad. :(

We got some video of the girls playing with the kittens today. They are getting so big. This video shows the kittens chasing Angel and Gabbi. It was really cute until Gabbi stepped on the gray kittens poor paw. She was fine though! No injuries at all....but ouch! Poor thing.

What is Surreal?

2011-04-04T16:39:00.000-05:00

You know what surreal is? Surreal is the moment you sit in a chair, prop up your legs, have a blanket tucked around you by a friendly nurse with a big smile on her face as she preps your chemo medications. She adjusts the IV bag of anti nausea medications....then begins the drip, drip, drip of these toxic medications into your body. You watch it drip in, and know that this poison may or may not save your life. What is more surreal? Having a life growing inside of you at the same time, not knowing whether or not you are saving her, or killing her. That is surreal to me.

April Fool's Day

2011-03-31T18:49:00.000-05:00

I may have to prank someone. I never usually do. It could be a lot of fun. I love Halloween. I love Christmas. Actually I kind of love Thanksgiving because I tell myself it's okay to pig out for once. However there really aren't other Holidays I care a lot about. St. Patrick's Day? Yeah I see people get into it but green beer never floated my boat. I would rather have a shot of something. Yes I could on St. Patrick's day but eh. It's no big deal. I can do it any day anyway. Valentine's day? I never liked days where men felt obligated to show their women love. Show it everyday or you are a fake or phony anyway. This is just my opinion of course. Easter has a great meaning behind it if you aren't thinking of hopping bunnies and candy.

Now, I have never ever really pranked anyone on April Fools Day because I frankly I stink at it. I am no good at it because I hate freaking people out. All I can say is I might just be willing to give it a shot this year.

9 Spam Comments?? Really?

2011-03-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

I am not sure who goes around posting pointless, random, spam comments but it's a complete waste of your time. I don't approve them. It will never be on my blog so I appreciate those only out to advertise their online casino (or whatever it may be) don't bother. I came on over to check my blog and see if I had any comments. I got excited when I saw there were nine! Wow! Until I realized they were all random, pointless 2 worded comments from the same person. Ugh! ANNOYING!

Paralyzed Kitten Photo

2011-03-20T16:37:00.001-05:00

If you read the post below this one, you'll know what I'm talking about. This little kitten I believe is paralyzed from the waist down. We just realized it. He's about 3 weeks old...so it's only just become apparent. I think he was probably born this way. As you can see, his upper body strength seems fine. We have 5 kittens.

Just a random pic of our kitties.

Kittens

2011-03-20T11:41:00.002-05:00

We have 5 baby kittens. My cat had kittens this spring. We had planned on getting her fixed, but since she was not a year old we really didn't think we needed to do it yet. I was wrong. She became evidently pregnant during the big snow storm. She ended up having them on the very first warm day of the year. These kittens have been growing and thriving. Just the other day I noticed one had an injury. The neck looked a little scraped but I had no idea why. I thought maybe the other kittens had chewed on him thinking it was their mother and nursed his neck. Well it seems to be healing just fine. While examining his neck I noticed his back legs are limp. They do not move at all. They do not look broken or injured...they look paralyzed. They seem thinner than the top portion of his body. I believe my kitty is paralyzed. I am so sad for him. He's so young but he's already dragging himself with his front legs. I have always had a big heart for animals. I think I get it from my dad (he did too) and as much as it drove my mother insane I believe it drives my husband insane. I feel the need to care for this animal. It could be the nurse in me too. I put antibiotic ointment on his wound...though I suspected mom would lick it off, I figured some protection to kill germs is better than none. He is with his mom (though not sure if this kitten is a boy or girl yet. Not checked it out)

I will be adopting out the kittens when they are old enough. I am worried about this little guy. It will take a big heart to want to love and care for a paralyzed kitty. I hope someone will see what a sweet little guy he is and be willing to take care of him. If no one does I know he'll have a home with me. I just am not sure if the hubby will agree with me on it! haha I have one cat and that was not something he initially wanted. I will do everything I can to care for these kittens and then make sure they go to good homes and momma kitty is getting an operation!!!

My Bad Ebay Experience

2011-03-19T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well this is an Ebay/Paypal combination story. I have been selling on ebay for YEARS. Quite literally I have an account since it first came out which was probably 2001 or something. I am not sure. I haven't sold anything in awhile and I am not a power seller. I am average person who occasionally sells things. I am also a person who uses Proactiv. Yes and I love it. I have used it for years. I don't use it constantly anymore because it is a bit drying to my skin so I only use it when I need it.

Because of this sometimes I end up with extra boxes. They come in the mail automatically because it's a club. I decided to sell a box of it on ebay. I sold the box for a decent price and the customer paid for it pretty quickly. I send it and they left excellent feedback for me which is still there to this day. This sounds perfect right? All is well? No. Actually it's not. One day I got onto paypal to check my account and it was negative. Why? Well the person I sold the Proactiv too decided to say they DIDN'T buy! They claimed the money was stolen from their card and that they didn't make the purchase. Since it was contested paypal took my money back while they were figuring it out. I was to send any evidence I had that it was legit. I was in shock that this could actually happen. I sent them email correspondence and proof because of the actual auction and the positive feedback written by them. Even if say someones son took her credit card and bought it do you think he would have come back to leave me positive feedback? I don't think so. Well it just confused me so much and all I knew was they had my product either way! They had it. I shipped it to their address. I was so upset.

Paypal got back to me and said they sided in my favor. It was proven that the auction was legitimate. Here's the issue. Her credit card had to be convinced of it too before they would give me my money back. Well obviously I never heard anything about it again. I never got my money back and that ebay buyer got their product for free. I wonder how often they do it? It's a great scam isn't it? Now when you see auctions where they want only bidders with a certain amount of positive feedback bidding, you know why. It's always upset me....and I think about it now and then. What rotten people are out there. It's sad!

OK What About Disappearing Readers?

2011-03-11T09:46:00.000-06:00

This is even MORE scary! I noticed the past week that my readers went from 313 to 311!! :( I hope I am not boring anyone to tears out there with my blog. Ok I'm not really that worried. I figure if you leave than apparently I wasn't interesting enough for you, but that's ok because I'm not changing anytime soon. I do miss you and hope you stick around to hear what I have to say, but I have to write about what I write about.

My blog isn't always about cancer anymore. It's about my life going on. I started this blog to get out what I was feeling. I needed a place to vent my fears and frustrations. Now this blog is about where my life is going after cancer and how my daughter is growing up after having been what I call a "chemo baby". She's healthy and I'm sure that someone out there who is going through cancer now and maybe having to have chemo or faced with the thought is terrified. My point is to give comfort or hope to that person while at the same time just living my life.

Speaking of which my husband's birthday is on Sunday. I am trying to get a party together for him AND manage to study for my Community test and write my big senior paper as well. I also need to clean this house etc. I am realizing I am running low on time. So...what do I do? I blog!!! :)

I will never learn.

When Blogs Disappear

2011-03-07T18:40:00.000-06:00

I have to say, it makes me very sad. I will be either searching and finding a blog, or just browsing from blog to blog and find a very promising one. I did that just today. I read a very inspiring story about a man who was in remission from Hodgkin's Lymphoma, like myself. I thought I would reply to his post. That was until I noticed his last post was July 2010. I hope that doesn't mean his cancer came back. That would be a worst case scenario. However often times I see that once a person beats the cancer they don't post anymore. They let the blog disappear into nothingness. I have to say do NOT do this! I hope this never happens to me. I don't plan on it. Why you ask? Why do you think the internet is full of worst case scenarios? Why is it only the horrible things that people find when doing a google search? The answer is simple. We only write about the bad stuff. We don't take the time to write about when it turns out good. Some of us do. I think sometimes we NEED to see that a story can have a happy ending. It doesn't always turn out badly, though the internet may lead us to believe it does.

My point here would be if you have a happy ending, talk about it! Don't be afraid to say "I'm in remission!" Or even "I'm cured!" It's nice to hear it sometimes. When I got diagnosed I absolutely refused to look for info online. I figured it would all be bad and I'd lose hope. I hope my blog does the opposite for others. There IS hope. Just look at this face. 3 years old...and I had chemotherapy the whole time I was pregnant with her. That's hope right there.

My Review of Spot Scrubber Multi-Surface Cleaner

2011-03-07T16:08:00.001-06:00

Originally submitted at CSN Stores

Features:

Multi surface vacuum cleaner
Versatile and portable for a convenient clean
Multi-surface cleaning for carpets, rugs, hard floors, tile, stairs, and upholstery
Powerful suction removes dirt and revitalizes carpets and floors
5 ft stretch ...

Love it!

By Sandilynn from Illinois on 3/7/2011

I use this a lot and just love it. I didn't think it worked as good on hard surfaces as carpet and the spray is wide, but do not mind that at all. It works wonderfully. Love it.

(legalese)

Quiet Lately

2011-03-04T16:38:00.000-06:00

I'm wondering where everyone is. It's been really quiet around my blog lately! Are you wondering yet about the surprise I had for the girls? Well I took them to see Madagascar Live!!! They had NO idea until we walked into the foyer of the theater. They were amazed and had a really good time. :) I think I looked more forward to the excitement in their eyes then the show itself. It was a great show. We had a very good time. Gabbi had never seen anything like it. She was pretty much shrieking as soon as we walked in.

Awesomize me?

2011-03-01T08:41:00.000-06:00

OK Let's see if this gets my score up. I recently joined this site. I think it's supposed to help with the whole social networking thing. It helps get your name out there but I really haven't done much with it yet. So I want to see how awesomized I can get just by blogging about it! Join up, awesomize me, I'll awesome you too. Just click here: http://awesomize.me/sandilynn1975.

The Red Devil

2011-02-28T20:30:00.000-06:00

I think the most frequent question I get asked about my cancer, was the treatment. I know my treatment is ABVD. I know the drugs are Adriamycin, Bleomycin, and Viznblastine but I always forget the D. So here I am putting it on my blog, for my future reference and anyone else's. That drug is: Dacarbazine. This is the usual combination of drugs used to treat Hodgkin's Lymphoma. These drugs saved my life. I think it is important I know what they are right? I got this regimen every 2 weeks.

What is the red devil? That would be the Adriamycin. This clever little drug liked to turn the pee a beautiful red color. Luckily they warned me about this side effect. I always ended up going to the bathroom during my treatments of course. I was pregnant and sitting there for HOURS. I was always prepared for the red devil. It never failed to prove itself. The drug was red and pushed in slowly over several minutes. This is also the drug I believe caused my preterm contractions. I always always got them during the push. I suppose it could have been a delayed effect from the previous drugs but nah. It was like clockwork. It was the only serious side effect related to my pregnancy I had. Normally a little rest and it went away. But the last two treatments it landed me in the hospital. Things went well though and in the end I delivered a beautiful little lady who was 36 weeks along but I had already had the the steroid injections to help her lungs along during my preterm contractions. She was perfectly healthy and well.

So that's my story about the red devil. It earned it's name. As for information on ABVD? I found a great link. Go here for details: http://www.lymphomainfo.net/therapy/chemotherapy/abvd.html.

The Suprise is Tuesday

2011-02-27T22:34:00.000-06:00

So technically there was more than one surprise this week. I switched my carrier to Verizon from US Cellular and got myself a Droid X. That's the first exciting thing. I also got all of my kids (not counting Gabbi of course) new phones. They got Samsung Intensity II phones. They love them and they are sufficient for their needs. I am at a loss on some of the functions on my phone. Seems no matter what I do my phone thinks it isn't activated. I can't access email but I can access facebook. I can open the Blockbuster feature and even created an account and bought a movie, but could never download it. It's irritating me. I'll figure it out eventually.

The surprise I am excited about is Tuesday. I plan on getting pictures. It's exciting to me anyway! :)

On a totally different note, does anyone else think Anne Hathaway is a little wired on the Oscar's tonight? Caaaaaalm down girl.

Spring Break

2011-02-26T12:06:00.000-06:00

I am getting anxious for spring break. It is coming up next week and I really can't wait. I will probably even use the time to catch up on some things but I am glad to just have some time at home. I can't believe I am just about halfway through this semester. It really doesn't seem possible.

I am also planning on getting a new phone. I really want a smart phone this time around. Any suggestions on which one I should get? I really want a phone that takes good pictures. I am tired of phones that take blurry, distorted photos. I like to take pics so that is something I have to say is required. I want Internet access, Qwerty keyboard and touchscreen. I had a phone that was just touch screen. Well when the touch part stopped working my phone was useless. I won't do that again. I also just don't do well with typing in numbers on a touchscreen. Apparently I'm a little clumsy. I was thinking I want a Droid.

Hmmm......stay tuned.

A Surprise!

2011-02-22T16:10:00.000-06:00

I have a surprise for my kids but I can't even post what it is here! Why do you ask? Well because my blog posts directly to Facebook. This matters because my oldest has a Facebook account. Now I could keep her off of it for a couple of days until the post makes it's way off of her newsfeed but several of my daughter's friends are also on my friend's list. I have thought of many different ways the information could get back to her, so I have decided I'll just say in the next couple of weeks, I have a surprise. Now you my readers will be surprised as well! :)

Another thing is that I have been asked to do an interview for a hospital in Australia. They have read my blog and are writing a book on cancer in pregnancy. They want to include my story and will be giving me a free copy of the book and an audio of our interview. I have done interviews before for local news and I did an interview for an online radio show in the UK. The interview for the hospital is tonight over the phone. I am pretty nervous!! I have a terrible cold so the sniffles and coughs may be in effect for the duration of the interview. I'll do my best. For those not familiar with the interview that I did in 2008 for my ordeal please watch it here:

Long Day and Missing my Dad

2011-02-21T01:14:00.000-06:00

Today I thought I was going to just relax. First I remembered I had an online quiz. There were some complications with the scoring on this quiz according to the teacher. I really hope so because it didn't go the way I wanted it to. This was the first thing to really rub me the wrong way. I put in some effort on this quiz and I wasn't pleased at all.

The second thing that got to me was the fact that in one of my courses the section goes into detail about impending death and the signs. For those that don't frequently read my blog, I have to say I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer December 27th 2009. He started having stomach pain around April of that year. It wasn't a couple of months of sleepless nights before he turned totally yellow. He went through a million tests, gallstone surgery, etc before he developed a blood infection. The doctors sent him home on an antibiotic. It was about 1 week before Homecoming in my hometown. My dad being the huge football fan didn't want to miss it even though he wasn't feeling well. I will never forget the phone call I got from my dad. I had gotten out of a night class and he called me on my way home. He sounded quiet. The doctor's wanted him to get this major surgery called the whipple procedure. He said there was a chance it could kill him. He was terrified. He said he was going to give the antibiotics a try, go to the Homecoming game, and then do the procedure. He didn't want to miss Homecoming. Honestly, I knew without him telling me he was terrified.

The day for surgery did not come. Before he finished the antibiotics my sister called saying she went to my parents house and my dad was delusional. Something was very wrong. He was confused. They got him into the truck and took him to the hospital. It was a whirlwind. He had meningitis. He was in the ICU for about 5 days. They didn't know if he would live. He did. A bit of background, my dad was only 57. He had a massive stroke in 2004, but thanks to prompt medical attention survived that event. We almost lost him then so when we got him back I knew I wasn't ready for him to go. It was too scary to think about. Then seeing him again in a bed unconscious, was more than I could take.

He came out of it, much like after the stroke. His words were a little messed up sometimes. He improved but he was losing weight so fast. This happened in just a few months time. He had been so healthy before. He was so strong...an outdoors man. The doctors still were not sure what was going on. All we knew is that it might be cancer, but they could not find anything.

Finally after my dad, normally a pretty big guy, wasted away to almost nothing, they scheduled the big scary surgery. He had no choice. It was time for the Whipple procedure. I got to the hospital, bright and early on December 22nd, 2009. Then the doctors came and told us they couldn't do it. He definitely had cancer and it had metastasized. They were not sure what kind it was, but he had cancer.

We found out for sure later that day I believe, that it was pancreatic. This is pretty much the worst cancer you can get. Statistically speaking, it's not good. At Thanksgiving that year my dad said what he wanted for Christmas was to come home. December 24th, 2009 we brought him home. We brought in hospice which is where my class at school comes in. This is where they start talking about the things that we went through. My dad talked a bit. We had him in a hospital bed in his living room. He didn't say a lot...and his appetite was nothing. We encouraged him to eat, but nothing was happening really. Christmas day he was in and out of it, but mostly just sleeping. We all stayed by his side and his brothers and sisters came over and sang hymns around his bed. The house was wild with activity with people coming in and out. My dad became pretty much oblivious to most of it. By the day of December 27th, 2009 my dad didn't wake at all. He slept, loudly. The gurgling sounds they speak of are accurate. I looked into his eyes and they were glossy, and he wasn't really looking in the same direction with each eye. I found that to be very ominous. I had told him on the 25th that I loved him, that he was the greatest dad anyone could have and that I was sorry I had ever taken him for granted. He had shrugged with a little eyebrow raise as my dad always did...and as anyone who knows him well remembers. The evening of December 27th I had walked into the kitchen to take a little break from hearing the sounds of his struggling breaths, not knowing what moment would be his last. Suddenly my cousin came in and told me I needed to get back into the living room. My dad was making motions, but not breathing. It was it. I got on my knees and I held his hand...and watched as he moved for the last time. I will never ever forget it. I miss him so much. Gone too soon. John Hamilton born August 27, 1952, died December 27th, 2009.

So when I say that sometimes these things get to me, now you know why. How could they not? I miss him.

Skechers Shape Ups?

2011-02-14T23:07:00.000-06:00

Ok. So I have been eyeing these shoes for quite a long time now. I am thinking I want to try them out. I would like opinions. Have you tried them? If you have, what did you think? I kind of like the idea that they would help shape the butt, but honestly that's not my primary reason for wanting them. I just kind of like them. I like the look. So, if you have opinion, let me know. I may or may not buy them based on these opinions.

Here is a pair with a pink ribbon on it for breast cancer awareness. I like these too.

Valentine's Day, What Is Your Opinion?

2011-02-13T14:54:00.000-06:00

I am not really even sure what I think about it. I don't hate it like some people do. I think the hate of any holiday is just silly. Like it or don't like it. Celebrate it or don't celebrate it....but honestly if you sit around proclaiming your hatred of it then I kind of wonder if there isn't more there. I understand if you are single, or divorced or just in between relationships why you might just want the holiday to come and go. I can understand if you are in a problematic or awful relationship why you wouldn't want to even think about a day of "love". If you get right down to it though, the problems are there whether Valentine's Day exists or doesn't exist. It may be easier to not think about it I suppose.

As for gifts for Valentine's Day I can honestly say I don't care that much. I have never needed jewelry or flowers. I am not saying I haven't gotten them...I am just saying that it wouldn't matter. I believe that a woman should get a gift for the guy as much as the guy is expected to get a gift for the woman. I don't think guys should be left out of this holiday. I don't think they should be expected to spoil the woman and have nothing in return at all. I think if you celebrate it that it should be mutual. But having said all of this, I can honestly say if you love someone that it is a continuous thing anyway. Whether or not there is a day to say it and exchange gifts to me is irrelevant. I don't dislike the holiday but I don't really acknowledge it that much. I used it as an excuse to go out and spend some money on a really nice dinner with the hubby last night! That's good enough for me ;)

Needing Some Home Improvement

2011-02-08T20:29:00.000-06:00

This past week my kitchen faucet broke. I couldn't turn the hot water off. I need to buy a new faucet. I think I found a good website to find that and more! You can find everything from kitchen faucets to a swing set, to cookware with CNS stores.

We absolutely need a new swing set as well. I'm thinking this spring I'm going to have to buy a new one. Our last one rusted out and is no longer usable. It could be a birthday present idea for my girls. Lexi and Mikayla both have the same birthday on March 16.

I'm going to be doing a review on a product from this website within the next couple of weeks. I will see if the products are what I'm looking for and of the quality I would expect. Stay tuned!

Snowmageddon?

2011-02-01T13:02:00.000-06:00

I don't know about that but it's coming down pretty hard at the moment. It's supposed to dump about 20 inches or more on us. At the rate it's coming down right now, it's highly likely. I need to get to work on my big senior paper. I am hoping to have some days off so I can get it all done. :) Enjoy this webcam brought to us by our local radio station Power 92.3. It shows the snow coming down in Peoria, IL. Just click the link below.

Snow Storm 2011

When You Really Put it Into Perspective

2011-01-23T17:48:00.000-06:00

I'm proud of all I have accomplished. Put together my personal and some private struggles/battles, I have overcome a lot. My whole life from day one has honestly been a struggle. Things never came easy for me. I had to fight every step of the way to accomplish what I wanted. I have to study. I can't just walk into a class and pass without doing so. I may study really hard for a B where some else barely studies for an A. I'm a smart person, but I work for what I achieve.

I never thought I would make it to where I am today. I got married very young and well my life went a different way. I became a mom and at that point I never knew if I would do anything else with school. I did however. I did it more than I ever thought I would! I went back to school and got into the nursing school I wanted on the first try. During the middle of all that I was diagnosed with cancer while pregnant. I could have let the cancer get me down and say "well I tried". I doubt anyone would have argued with me. They would probably agree. I had already made those goals and had the dreams though so I did not let it stop me. I went back yet again, finished up all the required courses and then went on to nursing school. I have just this year left. I am a senior now in my first semester. I will have the summer off then begin my final semester. I'm looking forward to graduation day! I need to focus on NOW but it's hard. I managed to overcome all of the obstacles life has thrown at me. Believe me when I say there are so many.

The point of this post isn't so much to pat myself on the back but to say if I can do it, anyone can. If you are thinking of going back to school, DO IT. It is very rewarding. It is never bad to further educate yourself. No matter what you decide to do or how many classes you decide to take, the point is just getting yourself out there and showing yourself you can do it. It's something I will never regret. As for the pat on the back, maybe just a little bit.

Cheesing for the Camera

2011-01-22T20:47:00.000-06:00

If you go back to the beginning of my blog, you'll see a sonogram of a 13 week old baby inside my tummy. Look at her now! Wow. Time does fly. :)

Back at it and a Long Week

2011-01-19T05:05:00.000-06:00

Well last week I started classes again. I am now in my senior year of nursing school. It's so stressful. the first week is always hard because there is SO much information to absorb. The second week is when we start our first clinicals which is full of anxiety as well. This semester I will be doing a Community clinical and Thursday I will be working with heart patients. I am nervous but anxious to do it at the same time. I want to get started. I always question my abilities in the beginning. It will be nice once things starting running smoothly.

On top of this my daughter Lexi has been in the hospital. With school starting I have felt torn between family and school. Yes family wins but unfortunately in this first 2 weeks I cannot miss a lot of the important information that they give out. So Jason is there with her while I go to class. She is at the same place I go to school so that helps a bit. She has an intestinal blockage that has gotten severe and has now been in the hospital for 4 days. I am not sure if she'll get out today or not. To top it all off today is Angelina's birthday. There has been SO much stress around here lately. I hope Lexi will make some progress today and she will get out. I don't know if it will happen. Praying it does!

When Celebrities Irritate Me

2011-01-04T17:19:00.002-06:00

Yes they do sometimes. They do when they start throwing out medical advice that isn't only ridiculous but also harmful. As a celebrity you have a certain responsibility being in the spotlight. People will believe everything you say for some reason without questioning it. This is really not a responsibility I would want. I hear things from people like Susan Sommers talking about ways to beat cancer without medicine. This is SO dangerous convincing someone that they can eat leaves or sprouts and kill the cancers that are in their body. I support a good healthy diet, combined with treatment. I think we should all consider a healthy diet, but if there was an amazing cure found in some plant why isn't the person who invented the diet a billionaire? Why isn't it plastered across all the medical books and why isn't chemo out the window? Why? Because it's not real. It doesn't work and there is no big conspiracy. There isn't. I am going into oncology. It's been in my heart a long time. I am all for a cure. I am a cancer survivor who has the fear of it coming back or developing another cancer hanging over my head all the time. I'm also in the medical field. I would be the first in line to eat the magical plants that would cure me if they existed.

I came across an article in my email from Medscape Nurses that I found very informative. Please take the time to read it. One thing that may be shocking to some is that Detox is NOT necessary. By detox I mean what so many celebrities do to "cleanse" their bodies. Our bodies does this on it's own. One person in this article actually believes that when they do not ejaculate they reabsorb the sperm into the body and it has health benefits. *sigh* That one really had me chuckling. People believe this!!!

Read Below for More:

"Science Sense" List Trashes Celebrity Health Tips

By Kate Kelland

LONDON (Reuters Life!) Dec 29 - Science campaigners laid bare some of the most dubious celebrity-endorsed health tips on Wednesday, trashing ideas such as reabsorbing sperm and wearing silicone bracelets to boost energy.
In an annual list of what it sees as the year's worst abuses against science, the Sense About Science (SAS) campaign group debunked diet and exercise suggestions made by actors, pop stars and others in the public eye in an effort "to help the celebrities realize where they are going wrong and to help the public make sense of celebrity claims".
In the health and fitness section, SAS noted that soccer player David Beckham and Prince William's fiancee Kate Middleton have both been spotted wearing hologram-embedded silicone bracelets which makers claim can improve energy and fitness.
It also listed a diet reportedly used by supermodel Naomi Campbell and actors Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore in which followers survive on maple syrup, lemon and pepper alone for up to two weeks. Campbell told U.S. TV host Oprah Winfrey in an interview in May: "It's good to clean out your body once in a while."
But SAS said in a statement: "Many of these claims promote theories, therapies and campaigns that make no scientific sense."
Pop star Sarah Harding told Now magazine in April that she crumbles charcoal over her food, saying: "It's doesn't taste of anything and apparently absorbs all the bad damaging stuff in the body."
Dr. John Elmsley, a chemical scientist and writer asked by SAS to comment on this idea, said charcoal is known to absorb toxic molecules when used in gas masks and sewage treatment, but is "unnecessary when it comes to diet because the body is already quite capable of removing any 'bad damaging stuff.'"
One of the highlights for SAS was a tip from cage fighter Alex Reid, who told The Sun tabloid newspaper in April that he "reabsorbs" his sperm to prepare for a big fight.
"It's actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn't ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh," he said.
John Aplin, a reproductive research scientist at the University of Manchester, said sperm cannot be reabsorbed once they have formed in the testes. "In fact sperm die after a few days, and the nutritional content of the ejaculate is really rather small," he said in a comment on the SAS list.
To try to counter the effects of some of the wildest health and fitness tips, SAS published its own "easy-to-remember pointers for celebrity commentators":-
- Nothing is chemical-free: everything is made of chemicals, it's just a question of which ones
- Detox is a marketing myth: our body does it without pricey potions and detox diets
- There's no need to boost: bodily functions occur without boosting
- Energy and fitness come from...food and exercise: there are no shortcuts.

Depression is Real

2010-12-30T16:50:00.001-06:00

No I am not depressed, but I have been. There was a time in my life when I was about 22 years old that I went through an overwhelming depression. I don't usually talk about it. It was religious based. I believe some of it came from questioning my faith but for the most part I don't think God had a thing to do with it. God wouldn't put a person through what I went through. When a thought begins to implant and starts to fester....it grows. It persists and eats at you. It consumes you. Then it is very hard, if not nearly impossible to dig yourself out.

Do I believe prayer can help? Sure. However it's just not that easy. Why is it so hard for people to believe that our brains can be just as sick as the rest of our bodies? If someones kidney fails, you don't question them and tell them just pray it away do you? No. They may pray but they also take medicine for it, dialysis or maybe even a transplant. Sometimes our brains don't always work just the way we want them to. Sometimes things go wrong, or fire the wrong way, or perhaps there is an imbalance (yes that is real) and there is no amount of anything that's going to just instantly fix that. If you cannot understand it, that does not mean it isn't real. A person can even be a Christian (or any other faith) and still be depressed. YES. This is possible. Why? Because our brains are just organs that can in fact not always function just the way you tell it to. I grew up and realized that it's not always just as easy as just telling yourself to change and doing it. Sometimes it may take more than that.

I worked this semester in nursing school with a lot of depressed patients. You may think of a depressed patient as a 23 year old girl who maybe hates her looks, or broke up with her boyfriend. What about a 74 year old woman who has all that she could want? What about an 8 year old boy? It doesn't always fit who you think it will fit. Sometimes depression hits those around you that you least suspect. They can't just stop and get better. It may take time. It may take medicine. It may take therapy. It CAN however get better. It's not an instant fix. It doesn't mean you aren't trusting in God either. It just happens sometimes. I wish at the time more people had understood me...because more than anything that is what I needed.

My Birthday

2010-12-30T13:22:00.000-06:00

I had a really good birthday. I have still been feeling sick but much better than I was before. The worst part at this point is the painful congestion in my chest. The coughing hurts so much. So I decided to take some cold pills before I left. I figured this way I wouldn't cough through the whole dinner and movie. Great plan right? Not so much. I took the pills on an empty stomach. By the time we got to the restaurant I was feeling a little nauseous and ate very little of my meal. It was a Hibachi grill which was tons of fun. The girls loved it. I enjoyed my entire glass of plum wine. It's a favorite of mine. I just couldn't eat much of the food itself. I felt like I was going to be sick. I can't believe I ruined my meal like that.

My Plum Wine

The Mushroom/Broth Soup

We left and went to the theater where we watched Gulliver's Travels with the kids. I know it got plenty of bad reviews but we liked it. I told everyone going in, it's not the real story of Gulliver's Travels. Don't expect it. I knew there would be some bad jokes and plenty of Jack Black's stomach shots. They found it funny and (spoiler alert) other than him peeing on the building and a few people it wasn't too gross. It satisfied the hubby, myself and all the kids. We had a great time. About 40 minutes into the movie the nausea had subsided enough that I was able to eat a little bit of popcorn and take a few sips off of my soda. So I had a good time regardless of the nausea. :)

The last thing I wanted to show you was our holy potato. haha OK. On Christmas Day I was cutting up potatoes to make my homemade mashed potatoes. Lexi was helping me when we came across this potato that had what looked like a cross in the center. We found it fairly amusing considering that it was Christmas Day. We decided it was a sign and wondered how much we'd get for it on ebay. The truth is, if people pay a lot for grilled cheese that have the Virgin Mary's features grilled into it than I bet I could get a decent amount for my now eaten potato. :) lol

Man Attempts to Recreate Frogger, Gets Hit by SUV

2010-12-29T13:16:00.000-06:00

Man Attempts to Recreate Frogger, Gets Hit by SUV

Ok. I'm sorry that he got hit...but wasn't he kinda asking for it?

The Birthday

2010-12-28T20:38:00.000-06:00

Yep tomorrow is my birthday. I am planning on going to see a movie and heading to a Kobes Japanese Steak House. I absolutely LOVE that place. I am looking forward to getting out tomorrow. I have been sick though and only hope I feel better by tomorrow. I have been a running a pretty high fever. Last night I believe it got up around 103 because I was shivering, cold and just shaking so bad in my sleep. I was sleeping so awful, dreaming weird vivid things and the hubby woke up and got me some medicine. I was way too cold to get out of bed to take my temp and honestly feeling too sick to open my mouth to ask him to get the thermometer. So I waited. It was probably an hour or two later I finally got up feeling awful but less cold. My temp was 102. So I figure it had to have been at least a degree higher when I was feeling my worst. I took ibuprofen then later in the day took some tylenol too. I have no temp now but I'm coughing a lot. It hurts to cough. I am hoping that my fever doesn't come back so I can enjoy the day tomorrow. We'll see! The girls all had flu shots so hopefully they will stay healthy.

God Bless Us Everyone

2010-12-25T23:00:00.000-06:00

Annual TB and Flu Shots

2010-12-22T11:24:00.000-06:00

I don't know how I forgot but I did manage to forget my annual tb shot. So I did that this week. It's why I was at the doctor's office on Monday. I have to go back today to get it checked. I figured I'd get a flu shot while I'm there because everyone seems to be getting the flu! What is with that? Everyone and their kids are sick lately. It's the same symptoms too so I'm trying to avoid it.

I'm hoping to get some Christmas presents today too because no I am not done. I am a last minute shopper, wrapper, etc. I am not like all of those dedicated shoppers who start in September and finish by Black Friday. NOPE. Not me. Never been me. I am sure it never will be. I'm probably going to resort to all online shopping at some point. It's so easy. :) It's not like any stores are around the corner. I live in a small town and it's 20 minutes or so to the nearest Wal Mart. Yes I shop there. I shop at a lot of places and it's just one of them. I hate it this time of year. Ugh. The crazies come out! People are more rude there, than anywhere I have ever shopped. What does that mean?

I am enjoying my Christmas break. I am so glad to be doing nothing for now. I am savoring every single moment. The picture above was just something I was playing around with. That's the picture of me and Gabbi on the mantel.

And the one above here, with the Penguins is my daughter Mikayla. We had fun goofing off.

This Song Always Inspired Me

2010-12-19T22:26:00.000-06:00

One of Those Bad Mommy Moments

2010-12-17T18:05:00.000-06:00

Gabbi and I headed to the mall today. I needed a dress to wear for Saturday and I also wanted to take Gabbi to see Santa. Unfortunately Santa was gone when we got there, I presume on lunch break. Even more unfortunate was that we didn't have time to hang around because my other girls got dismissed early today, for Christmas break.

I decided to swing into Hallmark really quick and pick up something for Gabbi. She didn't get to see Santa, so I figured I would find her a little something. Well she was grabbing at everything. It was such a huge mistake to take her in there. I kept telling her to hold my hand and she kept pulling away. She started grabbing at some jewelry, it was really crowded etc. I said "Gabbi come here" and grabbed her hand back, she pulled away and then of course fell down. She landed straight back. There were people all around. I bent down and kissed her and asked her if she was ok, but still frustrated that she was giving me such a hard time. I saw one lady walk away, I think assuming some people just shouldn't have children! lol You know if you think that you really need to take a step back and maybe down off your high horse sometimes. I thought to myself if only that woman knew the whole situation and also how very much I love my little girl. She's the world to me and I did everything I could to make sure she made it into this world safe and sound. I had to chuckle. Yes even I make mommy mistakes. I should have put her in a stroller but I thought it would be fun to walk around with her. Live and learn!!!! :)

HESI and Christmas Break!

2010-12-14T17:45:00.000-06:00

I took the HESI on Monday. This is a test that basically prepares us for NCLEX which are the nursing boards. We take that to get our license after we graduate. It helps determine our strengths and weaknesses. If you don't pass at our school you are required to do 15 hours of online work on a site called ATI. Well I was SO ready to fail this thing. I was scared, nervous, etc. I passed! I was so shocked I seriously double and triple checked my score. I am so glad that's over. Now over Christmas break instead of doing all of that online work? I sit at home with my family baking cookies and enjoying myself!!!

Now when I was looking for ways to study for the test I asked friends, I searched the Internet and eventually found an online program through the Evolve website. It cost $24.99 but you know what? It helped me SO much. I recommend this to anyone. I didn't know how to study for it. I didn't want to dig into old notes, or old books. There is entirely too much information to process. So I found this and was very pleased. I am considering baking tonight for Christmas but I am not sure I need all that temptation around this house. I'll end up eating too much of it!

Merry Christmas From Heaven

2010-12-10T17:15:00.002-06:00

Really really missing my dad. I found a poem at Hallmark today. I had to buy it on a little card because literally it made me cry. I love my dad and cannot stand the thought of not having him here with us this Christmas. This will be our first Christmas without him. Last year we brought him home on Christmas Eve. His one wish for Christmas he had told me, was to come home. That was on Thanksgiving and he came home Christmas Eve, when they told us there was nothing they could do. He had pancreatic cancer and they gave him about 2 months max. We lost him on December 27, 2009. Three days later. I held my dad's hand as he left this world. He was there for me when I came into it and I was there when he left it. I was so happy to have his brothers and sisters around him at that time singing hymns. It's something my dad would have loved. He was a good man who has left his mark. He will never be forgotten. Love you dad.

Merry Christmas From Heaven

I still hear the songs,
I still see the lights
I still feel your love on cold wintery nights

I still share your hopes and all of your cares
I'll even remind you to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you, you still make me proud
you stand head and shoulders above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment, to stay in his grace
I came here before you to help set your place

You don't have to be perfect all of the time
He forgives you the slip, if you continue the climb

To my family and friends
Please be thankful today
I'm still close beside you,
In a new special way

I love you all dearly,
now don't shed a tear
cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year

Copyright 1989 John Wm. Mooney, Jr (wow hadn't noticed it was written by someone named John until now!)

I'm a Senior!

2010-12-10T15:01:00.000-06:00

Well I took my last final today and that makes me officially a Senior!!! :) I am so glad to have just one year left! I am nervous because I know how much more serious things are getting. I have learned so much and am doing so much more than I ever thought I could do.

I did some Christmas shopping today, fought the crowds. I hate it. I really do. Everyone is so grumpy around Christmas. NO ONE says excuse me, smiles, or waits their turn. I stop, I try to be polite etc. I even smile extra wide so people will know I'm not one of those jerks. Well you know I am so sick of it. I am tired of not getting it in return. I got out of the way for some woman who wanted to squeeze between my van and another car to get into the store. I was trying to get in my van and she was barging through...so of course I scoot away because she won't stop coming at me. I say excuse me, and she just sticks up her nose and keeps walking. If you're that person? Well I have a few choice words for you! I'll keep them to myself but you know smile folks! It's not that hard. Smile. Say excuse me. I mean, maybe it's not so bad right? I saw a little old lady crossing the street today. I was waiting to turn left at a green arrow. The line wasn't moving. I was 2 cars into the line. This woman was pushing a wheelchair. She should have been IN it. I believe she was homeless. She looked about 85. The wheelchair had a dirty old pillow in it. Horns were honking, people were yelling and that little old lady inched her way across. It took her well past the time that light turned red. But you know I caught myself. What do I have to complain about? I am in a warm van on my way to get some food. She's a poor old lady who can barely walk pushing her wheelchair across ice and snow. Yeah. I think we can all just shut up right? Let the poor woman cross the street and we should maybe get a few visits from some ghosts. lol :)

p.s. (too much scrooge)

Now it's time to celebrate I think!

Gabbi's Amazing Beginning

2010-12-03T15:39:00.001-06:00

I'm just whipping up a short story here. I have always said Gabbi was just MEANT to be. She overcame so many odds to get here. Some are funny, some not so much but here goes. Gabbi was a surprise. I had no plans on getting pregnant.

So here is the funny part. I had been on birth control for some time. My family and I were moving. I was due to see my doc. He would give me my new prescription for my pills. Well after we moved my old doc wouldn't refill my prescription because I needed to see him first. So obviously I couldn't do that. I called a new doc and set up an appointment. They couldn't see me for 3 weeks. I figured what could happen??? 3 weeks is nothing!

Don't ever tell yourself that. I was pregnant before I started the next pack of pills. I went to the doc, got my refill and never used it. I cried and cried because number one I felt sick. Number 2 I hadn't planned on more children.

The next road block obviously was the cancer. I found out I had cancer and then had no choice but to have chemotherapy while I was pregnant. She overcame that. I may have shared this last part before, but on our way home from the hospital after she was born there was a car who pulled out in front of us. We were luckily turning but the car to the left of us gunned it and hit the car that pulled out. That car then was rammed into a truck in the other lane. That truck was at a stop getting ready to make a turn as well. So right outside Gabbi's window of our vehicle there was a 3 car pileup. We were the only car NOT involved. We called 911, finished doing what we had to do, and then went home. I am still in awe. I am thankful that we were ok!! That was pretty scary watching that so close.

I took Gabbi to school with me today to make up a quiz. I had a friend watch her for me for a few minutes. It was so nice of her and I really appreciate it! Thanks Anna :)

Really Missing My Dad

2010-11-28T16:14:00.000-06:00

With the Holidays and because I lost my dad last Christmas (27th) I'm really missing him more than ever. I hear his voice so clearly. I see him clearly when I close my eyes. I hear his humor and still cannot believe he is gone. I miss him so much. I sometimes feel so frustrated because I just want him back. It seems so unfair. I know there are many people who can relate. My sister Donna posted this on Facebook and I loved it so much I am sharing it here on my blog. Thanks Donna.

by Judy Burnette

Dad...so many images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in my life
...things have never been the same.

What happened to those lazy days
when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you
in your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times
when I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life
you could make my gray skies blue.

Dad, some days I hear your voice
and turn to see your face;
Yet in my turning...it seems
the sound has been erased.

Dad, who will I turn to for answers
when life does not make sense;
Who will be there to hold me close
when the pieces just don't fit.

Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you
and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.

Today, Jesus, as You are listening
in your home above;
Would you go and find my dad
and give him all my love.

Watching Christmas Movies

2010-11-26T22:21:00.000-06:00

We'll be putting up the tree tomorrow. We would have done it today, but we were all pretty worn out. It's been an amazing lazy day. No Black Friday for me. I thought about it, but it made me tired. lol My girls have been enjoying their day off. I had a hard time crawling out of bed. For some reason I have actually had a hard time waking up lately. Then again that could be due to going to bed too late!

Tonight it's been all about the movies and relaxing. We had left overs and now I'm getting ready to watch the best version of A Christmas Carol of ALL time starring the one and only Alastair Sim!

I'm enjoying a hot cappuccino and honestly it couldn't get much better than this. If Gabbi hadn't clocked her head on the corner of the dishwasher it might be downright perfect. She's ok though and enjoying the spongebob band-aid on her head though there was not one drop of blood. She thinks she is all better now. The miraculous cures of a band-aid. Who knew?

Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T13:40:00.000-06:00

It's coming up fast. I don't know where this year has went truly. School makes everything go faster. I am never without something to do. I have homework all the time. I have tests to study for all the time. I finally look up and half the year is gone. Between school and family there is little time for more. It's the one reason I do like to go out alone with the hubby at least ONE night a weekend. I need that time away. I know not everyone is like that, but if it's a night out with the girls, or a night out with the hubby I just need to get away from home, from the books, and relax. It re-energizes me for whatever the coming week has in store for me!

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving quite a bit. I love the idea of doing this with my family. I want to just spend time with them without TV, or computers or HOMEWORK. I have bought a lot of the things I need. I forgot to buy the Yams. I am the only one that likes them anyway, but to me they are tradition. I love them and how my mom always made them. They were one of my dad's favorites. He liked them how I do, covered in brown sugar, butter and marshmallows!!! YUM. I am thankful for much but I miss my dad. He loved the Holidays. He loved being with his family. He loved getting his girls all together at his house. This is our first Thanksgiving without him. Last year we were to all go to his house, but he took a turn for the worse and ended up in the hospital on that day. We had dinner at my house, kind of rush and tense, but it was a good meal. We took dad a big plate and he did eat it. He never remembered it later, but he did eat it and enjoyed it. I won't ever forget that night. His voice was very very raspy because of the tubes that had been down his throat from when he was in ICU. My phone rang and it was that tune from a Clint Eastwood movie The Good Bad and The Ugly. It freaked him out first. Dad didn't know where the sound was coming from. I showed him. Then my brother in law told my dad he sounded like Clint. Dad thought that was cool. Brian asked him to say "Go ahead, make my day" I think "do you feel lucky" might have been in there somewhere but I forget exactly. The point was he sounded like Clint and it was great. I will always remember it. It was funny.

Miss ya dad!!!

Happy Birthday Gabbi!!!

2010-11-17T09:18:00.000-06:00

Please stop by and leave your birthday wishes for my little miracle baby girl Gabriella. I know she's not a baby anymore. She's 3 years old today! Please leave a comment and wish her a happy birthday :) Thanks!

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

2010-11-16T16:43:00.001-06:00

Gabbi will turn three years old tomorrow. I am so excited. We did have a birthday party at my mother's house on Sunday. I have clinical tomorrow night if you can believe it. I am so sad that I'll be spending much of the evening away from my little girl but I don't know what else to do. I will enjoy the time I have before I go and then when I get back as well. This should hopefully be the only time this ever happens. I love my girl. I hate the fact that I won't be able to be with her all day tomorrow.

This reminds me of when my oldest Lexi turned 3. Her sister Mikayla was born that day. I felt really guilty for not being there on her birthday! Ha! The nurses ended up bringing us a birthday cake for her. It was so nice and we'll never forget it.

Three Years Old, Three Years in Remission (Almost)

2010-11-11T14:22:00.001-06:00

Gabriella's birthday is almost here. On November 17th she will celebrate her third birthday. She is getting so big! If you go back to the beginning of my blog after I first discovered my pregnancy you'll see why I say it with such disbelief! She's my little miracle. She's full of energy and such a happy little girl. Spend one day with her and you'll want to have a little girl, even if you never thought you wanted kids before!

Gabbi is such a happy girl. She was an unexpected blessing to our family. We hadn't really planned on having more children. Yet there I was pregnant and then shortly after diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I was told to have a therapeutic abortion. Regardless of your beliefs on that (because it's not the focus of my story) is that I couldn't do that. I knew there was no harm to me in continuing with the pregnancy and I would accept her however she was. I couldn't do that based on "unknowns". That was all it was. They didn't know what could happen. They weren't sure if anything would happen. They thought it might be better for me mentally. Obviously they don't know me. I think I could have survived but couldn't have lived after something like that.

So here we are almost celebrating her third birthday. I had chemotherapy during my pregnancy. I started at just 10 weeks along. I finished my last chemo about 3 weeks before she was born. She was born healthy and perfect in every way. I thank God for blessing me with this beautiful little girl. I love her to pieces! She's my sweet little miracle and as much a cancer survivor as I am. I will celebrate three years in remission on February 8th, 2011. I had radiation after her birth and a PET scan after that in which I found out I was all clear of that nasty cancer. It has never come back and here I sit thinking about all my blessings. It's a good month for her birthday. Thanksgiving is coming up and her birthday is just a week away. I am so thankful for my little lady! :)

November? Really?

2010-11-02T20:51:00.000-05:00

It's hard for me to believe it's already November. I must say school really makes time fly by. It's been an interesting month for me. I am doing my OB clinical and my Psych clinical right now. I say my days are no longer normal. I see and experience things people just usually don't on a normal basis. I have seen a vaginal delivery and a c-section in just two OB clinicals. I also tended to a baby who needed NICU. I watched that whole process which no, is definitely not easy.

I am loving every minute of it though. I want to take a second to say last week in Psych was particularly special to me. I had dinner in the hospital cafeteria with my teacher. We got to talking and I discovered she graduated from MY high school. She asked my maiden name, I told her, she asked if I knew John and of course this took me by surprise. I said yes that is my dad! She went to school with my dad. She graduated high school with him. I miss my dad so much. It doesn't make me sad or bring up bad things to talk about him anymore. Actually I just like feeling closer to him. If I think of how he suffered and what he went through that's when the tears come. I cry when I talk to him. Every now and then I just need to talk to him so I do. It makes me feel better anyway. I hope somehow that somewhere he can hear me. This was his favorite time of year. Football and family. He loved getting the family together during the Holidays.

*sigh* I miss you dad.

HOPE Video Diary Part I

2010-10-25T20:40:00.000-05:00

Here is a video diary from a woman I met online, Liz, who also was diagnosed with cancer while pregnant. It's NOT unheard of. It DOES happen and it doesn't mean the end for your baby or you!

Halloween and My Oncology Follow Up

2010-10-17T15:07:00.000-05:00

Gabbi is ready! lol Nah if you ask her she'll tell you she is gonna be a princess. I plan on getting her a princess costume. I am not sure which one yet? I am thinking Cinderella could be a lot of fun to do with her. She loves these little plastic teeth. The orange is just disgusting to me. haha I keep thinking who would want orange teeth fake or not? Yuck.

She gets a kick out of them though and that's what counts!

I saw my doctor on Friday. I had been concerned because my white count was low at my last appointment. I had just had the wisdom teeth pulled though so I was thinking it was related to that. Well this time my count was perfect. All my blood work was great. The doc said I didn't give him anything to do. You really want to hear that from an oncologist. I am glad. I can breathe a little easier now I think. I start to get nervous around checkup time. I have never felt 100% the same. I run out of a breath a bit easier....the pressure in my neck causes it I believe. I still have the thyroid issues. 4 nodules and enlarged. It causes some slight distention in my neck veins that I find COMPLETELY noticeable. I hate it especially when I sing. Well anyway I think that the reason my throat feels more pressure some days than others is allergies. I discussed it with the doc and usually when I'm having a bad "throat" day it coincides with sinus drainage or something. He said those tissues become slightly swollen with allergies and since it's already swollen because of thyroid and scar tissue it makes sense that some days is ok and others not so much. I need to always take my Claritan and maybe something else to relieve this discomfort. My left ear gets to popping and it stuffy as well. I will move my mouth funny or swallow a lot to deal with it. It's not stuffy constantly or popping constantly...it's doing BOTH constantly. It's hard to concentrate and pretend like it's not happening when you're talking to someone. VERY hard. I hate it. It's been bothering me for a long time and getting worse. So we'll get my butt to my endocrinologist and try to deal with it.

Halloween and Dressing Up

2010-10-12T13:04:00.000-05:00

I posted about this on my other blog but I really want to see the opinion on this. I absolutely LOVE dressing up for Halloween. As a teen I was sad when I was considered too "old" to dress up. I love it and I missed it. So what did I do as an adult to resolve this problem? I started having a Halloween party every year. I should do a costume contest. I think that would really encourage some interesting costumes. If my parties got big enough I would. I have found my costume for this year. I'm super EXCITED about wearing it.

I guess my question to you is do you feel dressing up for Halloween is just for the kids or can be fun for adults too? I love it. Some adults are too nervous to do it. I think they honestly worry about what other adults think. I'm putting a poll up on this blog and my other blog. I want to see what the general thought is. You know where my vote goes. Any reason to dress up is good to me. :)

Lazy Sunday....With a Side of Studying

2010-10-10T17:11:00.000-05:00

It should be the other way around. I have a rather big Psychology test tomorrow. Actually it's Nursing Care of Clients with Psychosocial Problems. That's the name of my class. However I can't imagine telling you all I have a test on that. It's just easier to say "Psychology", wouldn't you agree?

The big problem here is that I don't think I'll make my class tomorrow. The kids all have Columbus Day off. I didn't even realize they still got that day off. There is so much controversy surrounding Columbus and all that he did. From what I gather he wasn't that great of a guy. I'll be honest, at this particular moment I don't care. I just know that I really have no other way but to stay home with my girls. The hubby has to work. My oldest daughter is 13. The idea of leaving a 13, 10 and 8 year old alone all day long isn't a good one I don't think. The 13 year old is mature enough but she might think baking would be a good idea while I'm gone....or she might think punishing her sisters is a great plan. That might involve some hair pulling, biting, hitting, slapping and other not so pleasant things.

Nah I think I have to stay home. That means I'm going to have to make up this test. That sucks. I really don't like having to do that but I am not sure what else I can do. They really should think of these things when they make test days. A lot of my fellow students are parents. Sometimes there is a Holiday. It would be easy enough to not make a test day on a Holiday that schools have off. It puts parents in a real bind.

Going to college as a parent isn't easy. There is so much to consider. If I put the amount into my work that my teachers expect, then my family feels I'm neglecting them. They get upset with me. Then my grades aren't as good. It's hard to balance it all. It goes even so far as to trickle down to my extended family. I don't see my mother or sisters much at all anymore. I did manage to get out and celebrate my sisters birthday last night though! That was a lot of fun. I even met someone who reads my blog. That was really cool! :)

Well back to the studying. Have a great Sunday all!

Wisconsin Dells Vacation

2010-09-28T12:14:00.000-05:00

My anniversary was on September 23rd. We celebrated 15 years together. We got married in 1995. We have actually been together since 1993. We were young at the time. I was just 19 years old. He was just 21. I had just graduated high school in 1994. We are one of those young marriages that honestly most people chuckle about and say behind your back at your wedding how much time they give you. lol So I figure 15 years is pretty darn good.

We took our "honeymoon" to Wisconsin Dells. Back then it was a whole lot of fun! I didn't want to go there at first. I was disappointed because everyone else that got married got to go to a Beach somewhere you know? However we were short on funds in those days so we went somewhere realistic and it was a blast. We had so much fun. We decided to go back and take the kids with us this time.

We had a really good time. The girls loved it. Roller coasters line the streets. Not to mention all the go carts and water parks. We had a water park in our hotel which was nice since it's cold outside. The outdoor parks weren't open anymore. We stayed at the same hotel we stayed in 15 years ago. I could see our old room. We got a different room this time, but I could see our old room from our new room.

Check out the pics! Click the Link Below :)

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/264760/2142538

You Know Your Dog is Getting Old When...

2010-09-21T15:03:00.001-05:00

you take her in for her shots and checkup and the vet hands you pamphlets on how to extend your dogs life, and help her in her older years.

I'm pretty sad that Sasha is getting up there in years. I'm proud of the fact that she's about 10 (we adopted her so we aren't totally positive), yet I'm scared because she is a Siberian Husky and their lifespan is about 10-15 years. Obviously this is a little scary.

She is doing good. Her checkup went good but we're concerned about a little patch of missing fur on her back. It's by the tail. It's pretty raw. The vet checked for fleas but didn't see any. She was due for some Frontline. We hadn't used any in awhile so I picked that up today. The vet put her on some antibiotics and some spray that I'm going to be putting on her in a moment. I really do love my dog. She's the best dog we have ever had. I read a lot about Huskies online including here: http://www.rescueeverydog.org/husky_breed.htmlj.

She absolutely loves to run and will any chance she gets. If that means running away from me then she will do it. It's scary because she will run until she runs out of energy. That is usually halfway across town so we are careful about not letting her get away. She is much stronger than me so I have a hard time keeping her from walking ME. She is good about sitting but likes to jump up at people in excitement. Since we adopted her when she was around 5, she was already trained to a certain extent. She is house trained and will sit on command or shake your hand but she doesn't have much interest in obeying other commands. She'll get down if I tell her to, but a few seconds later she is back up again. It's a repetitive thing. I love her for her personality though. I realize she's probably really well behaved for a Husky.

I'm going to get a good picture of her tonight. She's a really pretty dog with ice blue eyes!!!

I also wanted to put a very important note in here. Gabbi and I were recently featured in a blog. I was contacted and asked if they could post our story to share. I was more than honored to do so. Please check out this link and comment on the story.

http://www.babynameguide.com/bngblog.php

Scroll down and you'll see our picture. Click on the link in the intro and that's that. :) Let me know if you read it. I love comments.

Spongebob Scrubs and Kids

2010-09-16T19:24:00.000-05:00

I am doing my Pediatric clinical right now. I love kids. I really do. I should! I have four. I love my girls but the idea of working with kids scared me more than anything. I don't like seeing a child sick or hurting. The smaller they are, the more scary it is for me. Today went well though. I bonded with my patient pretty quickly. I wore my Spongebob Scrubs (that I absolutely was determined to get). When I walked into my patient's room, he was wearing Spongebob PJ's! I introduced myself and told him my daughters like to call me Sandi Cheeks. haha That was a hit. After that it went pretty well.

My Gabriella is doing well in daycare. She is almost 3 and still not wanting to be potty trained. She tells me as soon as I got home that she "went pee in the potty!" I hope so. It is hard to dedicate the time training her that I need to because of full time Nursing School.

I actually missed my follow up on the 10th with my Oncologist. I had my regular 3 month follow up but because it's so far away and due to my schedule at school I postponed it until October 5th. I have that day off school so it will work out better. I still want to go into Oncology! You know what is weird is going back to being the patient. It feels really different having seen both sides so intently now. I actually miss my doctor and my nurses. They became like a second family to me for a long time. :)

On another note I hit 300 followers today!!! Thank you to all those who read my blog. I am sorry I haven't posted updates as frequently as I should. It's hard when I'm writing papers anyway and studying all the time. I like blogging more!!!