So Much Negativity

Lately I have seen a ton of negativity online in unusual places. I don't really get it either. First of all I have seen people arguing with each other amongst blogs. Now, we all have our own opinions and really unless it's a debate type of blog or political I do not see the benefit in arguing with someone on their blog. You know what I do when I see it? I close it out...and move on. I don't want to see it. I don't need to see. I think it's so sad. I realize everyone is different. Not everyone will be just like you. We need to just accept that and you know, even if you feel really strongly about it the blog is not the place to start making your point. Not on THEIR blog. I don't believe in singling someone out either.

Onto my second observation. I am part of a group called Freecycle. I have for a long time though I really rarely use it. I think I did one time. It's been about 5 years. I stay a member of it just in case. If you are not sure what it is, look it up. It's a great program where you basically post wanted items and you post offers to get rid of items. Absolutely NO cost. It's against the rules. It is to keep things out of landfills. It's really a great idea. I have seen some awesome things go through those sites. Baby clothes to Jacuzzis! The jacuzzi was a probably once in a lifetime thing so don't get your hopes up. haha Anyway it is like a message board but off topic conversation is strictly prohibited. You are to only ask or offer that is IT. For some reason the moderator must be taking a vacation because a fight has broken out! Someone declared that another person didn't *need* what she asked for. So now they are arguing. Almost every post. I am so confused by this. I would never feel the need to post whether or not someone needed something and honestly who cares? I don't care if you need it or not. It doesn't affect me at all. Am I alone on this? What is with the online negativity?

What to Expect

One big question I think I always have on my mind and I am sure any cancer survivor does is what should I expect now? I realized the fear is worse actually once you are declared "in remission". I hate to say it but it's true. The reason? Well I am not technically cured until I reach the 5 year mark. I don't see the doctor every 2 weeks anymore. I am not surrounded by people trying to fix me anymore. To top it all off during my illness I was also pregnant so I had my regular OB and a high risk OB. I was pretty much always having a doctor's appointment.

After it was all done it was quiet. There weren't any doctors. There was no one trying to make me better. It was done. So, it's easy for paranoid thoughts to creep in on occasion. I have always suffered from a bit of neck tension. On days when it's bad it feels similiar to the pressure I used to get so momentarily I turn neurotic and get scared. Then it goes away. The other pressure did not ever go away. I realize I am being obsessive and stop. The point is I still know that it's normal to feel this way. You can't live your life worrying about tomorrow or what the next day might bring. You really must focus on today and getting through each day as best as you can. And I have definitely realized that worrying about what has not happened and may never happen is a waste of life and your time. Enjoy what you have now...today. Don't waste it. It's too precious. Remember each day is new. There are no mistakes in it yet. It's fresh. So make the most of it.

First Christmas in Remission!

You know, after you go through something like this you see everything in a different light. I mean everything. First it was my first Thanksgiving in remission and now Christmas is upon us. It's so hard this year financially for everyone I know. I even just realized that we have a salt shortage this year for the icy roads. I hear the sirens go off several times a day from the fire department and I know it's an accident. I just know it. I realized last night while making a trip to get Gabriella some formula that the roads had been plowed but no salt at all. This makes a huge difference. You slide and slip. It's scary and I guarantee I won't be driving on it much. Normally around here they are salting the roads just at the storm warning. I usually feel fairly safe. Last night it was blowing and drifting right into the roads. We made it home safe. That's what matters!

I have another miraculous story about Gabbi's life that I am not sure I've filled anyone in on. I think about it sometimes. For all the bad things I remember that I must have a guardian angel just sitting on my shoulder waiting to protect us. The day I checked out of the hospital we were so excited. I put Gabbi in her cute little teddy bear snowsuit and got her all ready to go. I got wheeled out and we were on our way. We had our little one in the vehicle and we were on our way home. It was a good drive because at the time we lived 2 hours away. I had been taken by Life Flight to that hospital. Anyway we were driving down the busy 4 lanes and my husband decided we need to stop at ATM and get money so he slowed down to make a right hand turn. As he did this the car at that turn pulled out right in front of us. If we hadn't of slowed down we'd have slammed into him. The SUV behind us didn't like us slowing down I suppose so started to slam the gas and pass us on the left, which they do have the right to do except that he slammed into the car that pulled out in front of us. There was a truck also in the far lane waiting to turn to go into the same place as us. He was just sitting there waiting but when the SUV hit the car, the car flew right into the truck. It was a 3 car pileup literally feet from my window where I was sitting by Gabbi. I saw car chunks flying up in the air. It was a serious shock and we called 911. I hoped everyone was OK. Seriously...what are the chances? I need to give my guardian angel a raise.

Shameless Promotion (ha! At my typo *shamless*. So glad I caught it)

Well, I have decided to put up an auction. I use Proactiv. *Gasp* Well I have since my 8 year old was a baby. It cleared it up and I've been ejoying clear skin for some time now. Sound like an informercial don't I? The difference is it's just me. I am just saying from MY experience it works. My past 2 shipments I got these free tubes of the Refining Mask. I am sure you've all seen the commerical where they put it on *Just a dab*. haha I always laugh at that. Anyway it's true. It works. I just have my own big tube that I bought so I don't really need these. Feel free to take a look. I put the price pretty low and especially since it was 2 tubes. You don't even have to use the system to try out the mask. If you have questions, I'll answer. Just let me know. It appears as though if click the pic it's not taking you to the auction...so just go here: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280291497876&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1123

Blog Award

I just received this blog award from Doodles of Life I want to thank her for the award. I am so honored when someone thinks my blog is worthy. Since my laptop got broken I have missed a few awards. I am going to go back through my e-mail and double check. I have created a new folder specifically for blog awards. I will post them once a week, or two depending on my mood. :) This way, I no longer lose where those awards were. I thank everyone who has ever nominated my blog for award. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. It's my life and so very important. When you are going through such a difficult trial, all you can think is of how it might one day help someone else. My goal is to inspire, to encourage and to make everyone out there realize there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel. It's not always worst case scenarios out there. Sometimes, just sometimes you get a happy ending.