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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Been a Few Days

I normally refrain from making a post about the last time I posted. However since it has been a few days I decided to just go with it. I have allowed myself a little time to grieve to myself. It's been a hard year and it ended very hard. Now things are just moving right along, whether I am ready or not.

I miss my dad. I really do. I find it hard to just go about the normal things in life but I have to. First of all he would want me to. I can actually see him looking at me like an oddball for even suggesting I find it hard not to. He had a way of really expressing himself without saying a word. You knew what he was thinking merely by his facial expressions. It makes me laugh to think about it! Some were pretty funny.

The second reason is for myself and third is for my family. They need me and they are grieving too. My husband feels he lost a dad. My girls miss their grandpa. He was a wonderful man. You all take my word on that. As we have all joked, the fish are probably celebrating. Way too many are going to get big and fat now that my dad isn't there to catch them.

The thing is, I start school. I start school soon. I have dilemma after dilemma and I am concentrating a lot of my brain power on that right now. I found out I only qualified for just over $6,000 in student loans. That's great except my tuition costs alone are over $7000. That doesn't include books, lab coats and day care. I don't know how I am going to do it. We are trying everything. I really thought my loans would cover it. They always have. I can't get a regular loan right now. I have so many medical bills that my credit is NOT good. My hubby took a pay cut at work. He took two actually so right now they are basing our income off of money we no longer make.

I have filled out papers. I have sent in transcripts. I have done so much. I have had a terrible headache today and yet I have hope. I have one more option, but I think it's the last one. I have definitely had way too much stress lately!