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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Depression is Real

No I am not depressed, but I have been. There was a time in my life when I was about 22 years old that I went through an overwhelming depression. I don't usually talk about it. It was religious based. I believe some of it came from questioning my faith but for the most part I don't think God had a thing to do with it. God wouldn't put a person through what I went through. When a thought begins to implant and starts to grows. It persists and eats at you. It consumes you. Then it is very hard, if not nearly impossible to dig yourself out.

Do I believe prayer can help? Sure. However it's just not that easy. Why is it so hard for people to believe that our brains can be just as sick as the rest of our bodies? If someones kidney fails, you don't question them and tell them just pray it away do you? No. They may pray but they also take medicine for it, dialysis or maybe even a transplant. Sometimes our brains don't always work just the way we want them to. Sometimes things go wrong, or fire the wrong way, or perhaps there is an imbalance (yes that is real) and there is no amount of anything that's going to just instantly fix that. If you cannot understand it, that does not mean it isn't real. A person can even be a Christian (or any other faith) and still be depressed. YES. This is possible. Why? Because our brains are just organs that can in fact not always function just the way you tell it to. I grew up and realized that it's not always just as easy as just telling yourself to change and doing it. Sometimes it may take more than that.

I worked this semester in nursing school with a lot of depressed patients. You may think of a depressed patient as a 23 year old girl who maybe hates her looks, or broke up with her boyfriend. What about a 74 year old woman who has all that she could want? What about an 8 year old boy? It doesn't always fit who you think it will fit. Sometimes depression hits those around you that you least suspect. They can't just stop and get better. It may take time. It may take medicine. It may take therapy. It CAN however get better. It's not an instant fix. It doesn't mean you aren't trusting in God either. It just happens sometimes. I wish at the time more people had understood me...because more than anything that is what I needed.

My Birthday

I had a really good birthday. I have still been feeling sick but much better than I was before. The worst part at this point is the painful congestion in my chest. The coughing hurts so much. So I decided to take some cold pills before I left. I figured this way I wouldn't cough through the whole dinner and movie. Great plan right? Not so much. I took the pills on an empty stomach. By the time we got to the restaurant I was feeling a little nauseous and ate very little of my meal. It was a Hibachi grill which was tons of fun. The girls loved it. I enjoyed my entire glass of plum wine. It's a favorite of mine. I just couldn't eat much of the food itself. I felt like I was going to be sick. I can't believe I ruined my meal like that.

 My Plum Wine
 The Mushroom/Broth Soup
We left and went to the theater where we watched Gulliver's Travels with the kids. I know it got plenty of bad reviews but we liked it. I told everyone going in, it's not the real story of Gulliver's Travels. Don't expect it. I knew there would be some bad jokes and plenty of Jack Black's stomach shots. They found it funny and (spoiler alert) other than him peeing on the building and a few people it wasn't too gross. It satisfied the hubby, myself and all the kids. We had a great time. About 40 minutes into the movie the nausea had subsided enough that I was able to eat a little bit of popcorn and take a few sips off of my soda. So I had a good time regardless of the nausea. :)

The last thing I wanted to show you was our holy potato. haha OK. On Christmas Day I was cutting up potatoes to make my homemade mashed potatoes. Lexi was helping me when we came across this potato that had what looked like a cross in the center. We found it fairly amusing considering that it was Christmas Day. We decided it was a sign and wondered how much we'd get for it on ebay. The truth is, if people pay a lot for grilled cheese that have the Virgin Mary's features grilled into it than I bet I could get a decent amount for my now eaten potato. :) lol

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Birthday

Yep tomorrow is my birthday. I am planning on going to see a movie and heading to a Kobes Japanese Steak House. I absolutely LOVE that place. I am looking forward to getting out tomorrow. I have been sick though and only hope I feel better by tomorrow. I have been a running a pretty high fever. Last night I believe it got up around 103 because I was shivering, cold and just shaking so bad in my sleep. I was sleeping so awful, dreaming weird vivid things and the hubby woke up and got me some medicine. I was way too cold to get out of bed to take my temp and honestly feeling too sick to open my mouth to ask him to get the thermometer. So I waited. It was probably an hour or two later I finally got up feeling awful but less cold. My temp was 102. So I figure it had to have been at least a degree higher when I was feeling my worst. I took ibuprofen then later in the day took some tylenol too. I have no temp now but I'm coughing a lot. It hurts to cough. I am hoping that my fever doesn't come back so I can enjoy the day tomorrow. We'll see! The girls all had flu shots so hopefully they will stay healthy.