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Friday, May 8, 2009

Back With Preliminary Results

We started off early this morning since my doctor is so far away. We packed up the van and headed out. I gave Gabriella an 8 ounce bottle which I never ever do. Because of her reflux I usually give her a 4 to 5 oz with a meal. Since we were in a rush I threw some fruit loops in a baggie and let her have the bottle. She was fine for an hour then the fussing began. She seemed in a little pain. I found some Mycelin drops in my diaper bag and it seemed to do the trick. Still she started to kind of fuss a bit so that made me nervous about how this day would go. She ended up being just a little cranky today but with the drops she was much better...then slept the whole way home. So it wasn't too bad. Now she is running around the living room smiling and trying to talk to her reflection on the back of my laptop. Seriously.

OK. On to the topic at hand. I got to the Surgery Center and because Jason couldn't be in there with me he took the kids to McDonald's for a snack. I checked in and headed to the lower level. I was taken immediately in for my ECHO. I had to lie on my left side, which was interesting. She scanned through my back and then while still on my side just under the left breast but that was it. It was over pretty fast. I was just glad they didn't play the heart beat out loud this time. I hated hearing it before. I could tell it sounded "squishy". I didn't really WANT to lie there worrying about it so I am glad I couldn't hear it.

Then I dressed and went back to the waiting room. I waited maybe 10 to 15 minutes then went back for the CT. This is where it gets fun. I answered some questions then she told me I would need to be injected with a contrast dye that could cause a warming sensation in my throat and it would move down my body eventually in my bladder and could give me the sensation I peed my pants. GREAT. I literally said that too. That's just wonderful. I changed into the gown and laid down. Then she looked at my veins and said she would need a smaller needle. Then she warned me of the stick, said my vein was rolling away, she wiggled the needle a bunch then said she blew the vein. (Still not positive what that means. It sounds so bad) So she says she'll try the other arm. She tried for 5 minutes on the first. (OUCH) I am pretty good with needles but IV's are more painful to me then a shot. I still do pretty good until you start wiggling the needle around. She stuck my other arm, said she thought she got it, but didn't. The vein moved again and she then after much wiggling said that one blew too. YEAH!!! haha So she used the side of my hand just down from my thumb. This one easily hurt the most and she wiggled it a whole lot. Finally after just pleading with God that she'd get it she did. The warming sensation did happen but did not make me feel like I peed. I think it could have if I didn't have an advance warning of what it would feel like. The nurse was very very nice and I do believe I sometimes have disobedient veins.

After the scan it was just about 1 p.m. We had an hour to kill before I saw the oncologist so Jason (hubby) took me to get some food. I ate and then went back and had my blood drawn!!! More needles. That's four in one hour. She did it just under the stick the first nurse did in my left arm and guess what? She used a normal sized needle and had no trouble. Then again she does that all day everyday. She is an oncology nurse. It involves a whole lot of needles. I finally saw the doc. He was late because of a meeting. He said my blood tests were GREAT. Then he asked about symptoms and different things then said they had the preliminary results of the CT scan and they looked great. He said they won't have the official results for a few days but said he didn't see anything in there!!! How good is that to hear. And guess what? He told me this in the same room he told me I had cancer in. It was in the same room, same seat.

Wow. I don't have the results of the ECHO yet but things look good. I am just about ready to believe I beat this thing for good. My oncologist looked at me and told me bluntly "You're gonna be fine." So that felt good.

I cannot explain to you how very hard it is to believe that cancer is gone...that it won't come back. It's almost scary to let go and just believe it but I am thinking maybe it's OK. Maybe I can just believe it now! I am waiting for the final results and I of course will update when I get them. I took the pics here of the actual CT machine I was in. I was alone for a bit so I just decided to snap a couple. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and well wishes. I appreciate every kind word and prayer so much!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I'm Doing OK

My follow up is tomorrow and yet, I am doing ok. I normally go into full on panic mode before these check ups. That's not to say I haven't been feeling different symptoms. I think I always do I am just much more aware of it right before a check up. My ECHO is at 11 a.m. For those that haven't been following that long I am having an ECHO because while I was sick I had a whole lot of fluid around my heart. The doctor said it was all part of the tumor/Hodgkin's but initially they were all quite panicked that it was a preexisting thing which scared me to death. They decided it would go away after I got better but they never have checked. I am hoping to get a good result.

I am also having a CAT scan. My last scan of any kind was February 2008. I have had good clean checkups since then but that's just blood work. It all comes out great. So this time I am having an actual scan. I am pretty anxious. I have a feeling they may be able to tell me more about my thyroid too which has been enlarged for years. They used to blame it for my symptoms which is why I went so long misdiagnosed.

Anyway I am pretty anxious yet doing remarkable good. I am not feeling too insane today. haha My day will start very early as we have a very long drive. I may not get back around to the blog tomorrow so I appreciate all thoughts and prayers!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Not a Baby and a New Entrecard Ad

Yesterday evening as the hubby and I were relaxing on the couch, Gabriella was walking from the coffee table to the couch and back again. She just giggled and nonstop rushed back and forth, arms out in front, little legs pausing here and there to catch her balance and clapping as she reached her destination. She began to lift her leg on top of the coffee table and tried to scoot her whole body up. I know it won't be long until she accomplishes this goal...then I'll probably never get a blog post done without getting up 5 times to pull her off. Regardless it dawned on me that she was toddling. Yes...she is now (gulp) a toddler! My little miracle baby, is not a baby anymore. Or not technically anyway. I am proud and at the same time just a little sad to say goodbye to all the baby stuff as we enter a whole new world here. She's such a big girl.

I also added a little something to my Entrecard Ad. It has looked the same for so long. I didn't want to make it so no one recognized me anymore though so I still used the same photo. I just tried to make it a little more fancy with a few touchups. Here is the larger version. On Entrecard it's harder to see the details.

I don't think it's too bad. So get used to this card! haha

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Winner of My Giveaway Is!!!!

WENDY! I used to randomly generate a number after filling out a list of each entrant and paying close to attention to those who had TWO entries. The winner number lined up with Wendy from It's Really Only a Purple World. Congratulations to Wendy!

The prize was for 250 Postcards 4x6 14pt matte (color front, blank back)giveaway from! My Postcard Printing is an easy and affordable Postcard Marketing Solution. You can design, print and mail postcards from your own home or office. They offer high-quality printing at the lowest possible prices. Make sure you check them out!

Thanks to all those that entered the giveaway. I know I'll be doing more in the future so be sure to keep checking back. :)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Her First Steps

She started walking this week. She just turned around and walked to her dad all on her own. I had been helping her for awhile but she usually would take a step or two and dive at me. I'd have to act fast and catch her. Now she has finally grasped the idea. Not running but balancing! She is so cute wobbling on those chubby legs. She is getting so big! Sorry the video is sideways. I did it with my cellphone and really didn't think about the fact that it would come out that way.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Is It Almost May 8th Already??

Yes it is. As a matter of fact it is Friday. My appointment is that day. It will be a long day. I start at 11:00 a.m. with the ECHO I believe...then the CAT scan at 12:00. I may have it backwards. I wrote it down somewhere! Then I see my oncologist at 2:00. So yes it will be a very long day. I have to get my blood drawn, all the lab work etc. Then of course it's time to parade Gabriella around the oncology office. They love her and she has gotten so incredibly big. She's really starting to walk now. She's a late walker as I have stated before, but I really blame myself for that. I have spoiled and/or babied her so bad.

This is the time I usually get paranoid about my appointments. I have experienced nightmares in the past, constant fear of it recurring. I have to admit I haven't been to bad this time around. I absolutely DO have pressure in my neck but I am almost at the point where I think this may be my new normal. I hate it. I do also have to take into consideration that I do have thyroid nodules in there that contribute to that lump in my throat feeling. It's not like it used to be. I remind myself I can breathe. I am not wheezing. It doesn't hurt to breath. I can brush my hair without my face turning red and the veins bulging out of my neck. I have to take into consideration that it really is nothing like it used to be. I guess so far, I am doing ok. After the CAT scan I may be better or worse. haha Depending on what they find. Hopefully all looks good and I can really really feel in remission and relax. I mean I have been in remission now for a year and 3 months. Yet there is never that feeling of being free from cancer. You always have that little fear that it will come back. Then you worry because you know treatment is harder the second time around...and your risks go up. So I would just rather not deal with all that.

I appreciate thoughts and prayers that all will be well. I also hope that this week is not a LOOOONG one. ;)