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Thursday, August 30, 2007

My 23 week pregnant belly

This is either week 22 or 23. I have forgotten now. I am 24 weeks going on 25 tomorrow now.

Updated my entire blog today

I copied and pasted what I had already posted somewhere else. That's why sometimes these posts come in bulk. My docs told me in the beginning it was good to keep a journal of what I have gone through during all this, so I am basically. I don't feel like going back through and editing them so I just thought I'd point out there were several updates posted today. It is Thursday August 30, 2007. I have an eye doctors appointment today at 10:30. I would rather not go, but have no choice, so I will go. I need new contacts. Being pregnant, and being sick and on chemo, I would think my eyes probably will do a lot of changing that is probably temporary. I know water retention during pregnancy will cause eye changes. I wish I could just get a prescription without the exam part. haha But no, I know that isn't happening. Ahhhh well. I need to get some things done today anyway. My bathtub is deciding to give me troubles. Any idea why the bathtub would keep filling up when the washer drains??? either. :(

August 29, 2007 - Wednesday

Well, feeling a bit better today than yesterday. Fighting a simple cold has never been quite so difficult. But even though I have felt weak, tired, and fluish, in truth I have no infections and my lungs are crystal clear. So I won't complain too much. I can fight this and get better. I never really assumed chemo would be smooth sailing all the way through. It's chemo for crying out loud. Not easy. It was just crazy how fast I got sick Tuesday. I had already been sick so it wasn't a surprise as far as that goes. But I felt fine, then cold, then freezing, the shaking. It was nasty. I hated that feeling. Then I was sweating all night which is in itself nasty. Anyway, the treatment went fine Tuesday. I saw my doctor and got my blood drawn...through my arm again of course. The port? Haha! Never will I see blood come through that thing. They got my meds started around 11 ish. Then the nurse has to come over and manually push two different kinds of meds through my IV. That takes several minutes. I have fallen asleep during it before. lol Then I get a bag of primary fluids, which is sort of to flush the IV. Then I have my last bag of chemo. My treatment is ABVD and I forget how to spell or pronounce each drug but the final one is the one with the D and the one the doc said probably caused my problem yesterday. Like I said though, I felt fine. A cold is nothing to complain about. I was ok. Got in the car, feeling fine. Air conditioner running, and I was hungry. It was around 1:30 p.m. and I was ready for food. I took just a couple of bites then my body just said NO! I was not so good after that. But on the upside today I am feeling quite improved. I have taken no tylenol and my fever is still gone. Thank God! Between freezing then sweating alternately all night I just want to feel normal. By sometime in January of 08 I just miiiiiiight feel like a normal girl again!!! Woohoo :)

Update August 28, 2007 - Tuesday

Felt okay other than a bad cough today, told doc about being sick all weekend, the ER trip. We had to go ahead with chemo because it's very important to stay on schedule. My white count was still good. So we did it. Stopped for food on the way home, ate two bites, immediately started feeling fluish. 15 minutes and I was shaking uncontrollably. 100 degrees outside, windows in the car barely cracked and I was freezing. At least an hour from home. Called doc, he thinks the virus and a certain drug involved are kind of at war at the moment. He wasn't too worried, but I need to pop tylenol and stay in bed. It took all the energy I had to type this so I'll update more when I can.

Update: Trip to E.R. August 27, 2007 - Monday

Yep. It got that bad. Well I wrote earlier about the cold. Well I have been feeling lightheaded, dizzy, fatigued, sore throat, then the achy muscles and fever set in. I could only think oh crap...because I knew I had to call my doc if it hits 100.5 or above, which is not exactly a super high fever. But when you are on chemo you cannot take any chances. So, I couldn't eat yesterday at all. My appetite has seriously declined in the past couple of days. I get sick after only a couple bites then I will feel so tired, like someone just whacked me with a I need to lie down. Anyway, I went to bed and lay there trying not to shiver. Finally took my temp. 101.2. Sooooo I had to call the doc. He told me I needed to get in right away and have a CBC (or complete blood count). So I did. They did a strep test, a mono test (which I have never had either) and then the CBC. I tested okay for everything. Even my white blood cells are good they said. So that is awesome news. I should be able to fight this off well. The one big problem was I was quite dehydrated. I knew I didn't look too good. I didn't FEEL too good. But I guess since I have been not able to eat, I sort of forgot to be drinking. Bad bad girl I know. Anyway I had to stay for an hour while I had an IV of fluids. I felt a bit better afterwards. I am now coughing, and sneezing and all that wonderful stuff but otherwise I am ordered to rest and drink a lot of fluids. My first ever trip to the ER during all my chemo. I have to say, I got in pretty quick. A person on chemotherapy that is sick tends to get immediate attention. I have to say I am thankful for that. Still I was there from 5:00 to almost 9 p.m. What a waste of a Sunday!

Update A cold??? :( August 26, 2007 - Sunday

Well, I have been trying to avoid getting sick and I knew it wasn't possible. STILL I tried. I started feeling a scratchy throat a couple of days ago. Now it is a full on cough up a lung, stuffy/runny nose cold. I am praying that my white blood cells are still good enough to fight this off with no problems. The biggest complication I have read about with people with cancer is things like pneomonia. If I run a fever at all I have to call my doc. Well any fever 100.5 or more. That's on the list of reasons to call the doc. Severe sore throat is on there too, but I wouldn't call this severe. Annoying. But not severe. So I hope I am better soon. I have my 8th chemo on Tuesday and I would rather be healthy that day. =/ Other things I have noticed is the nausea is back a bit. I am feeling nauseas after only a few bites of food. So my appetite is decreasing again. I hope that fades too. I like to eat and this is making me mad. I can't enjoy eating when it just makes me feel sick. :( Oh and I should mention I get to where I feel SOOO tired. Like I just need to lie down and not move right then and there. I went out to dinner last night. Ate maybe 3 bites of steak. Tried to finish a baked potato. Did about half of it then knew I'd throw up if I ate more. I was so depressed. Then I just felt so tired that I needed to lie down. I came home and slept for about 2 hours. Then I felt better. I think the fatigure is due to my anemia and of course the chemo. I usually just pop a vitamin and drink a cup of water and it helps. I didn't do that last night. The vitamins make me nauseas. LOL. So I dread taking them. =/ I decided to just take one today. So far, I am not too tired.

7th Chemo (August 15, 2007 - Wednesday)

11:46 AM - 7th chemo, more than halfway done!
Current mood: content

Well, yesterday was my 7th chemo. I got there a bit after 9 and they called me in to insert the IV into my port. Again tried to draw blood through it to no avail. It just will not work. Not for blood draws anyway. It hurt when she jabbed the needle into my port. Worse than it ever has. I don't know why. Sometimes I can barely feel it, then others I feel it bad. You all need to understand what this port is. I have a plastic drum inserted under my skin. You can see a bump on my upper left chest. Not super big but it's there. Then a tube is running through my vein from the port. That tube and drum are always there until I have it removed. I can feel it under the skin. Anyway, so then the nurse picks of the syringe to flush the port. She pushes the syringe down and it won't budge. OK. This was odd. She realizes she hasn't clamped down the port needle or something and so she puts her hands on it and pushes, HARD. Ouch! Finally she gets the thing flushed and then has to draw from my arm again to get blood. Why, my veins hurt today I don't know. Last time she bruised me and it didn't hurt. This week she bragged about not bruising me and it hurt worse than any shot or needle I have ever had. She inserted this thing and it burned like my arm was on fire. I grimaced and held tight to the chair while waiting for my blood to fill up in this stupid thing. Finally it was done and my arm was tender and my port. So I see the doc, explain the lumpy throat feeling. Not too concerned, we will just watch it. It comes and goes I have noticed. One day it bothers me, the next I barely notice it. Who knows. Anyway, I get in the chair for chemo. Appointment at 9:30. Chemo started around 11 something. Yes, I wait so long on these days. She put in the syringe to flush it again. This has to be done lots of times. Anyway it wouldn't go in again so she had to grab the plastic bit around the needle and push down again. She pushed and jabbed and wiggle the port around. OUCH! I avoid hitting this thing, anyone touching it, moving around. And here she is just grinding it. I was seriously sore after this one. Anyway she got it to work alright and we started the chemo. I got done about 1:15 with all of it. While I was sitting there getting my chemo I noticed a very frail old man across from me. He had no port and they were trying to insert the IV into his arm. I saw him grimacing and stretching out in silent pain. His daughter (I assume) was holding his hand tight. Poor old guy. His cheeks were sunken in and he was skinnier than I ever was. (lol) Anyway, this nurse gives up and the guy has several bandages on his arm. This was obviously not her first try today. Another nurse came and tried the other arm. I swear it took them a good 30 minutes to insert his IV while I tried not to look too much. It's hard when he is right there though. Poor guy. After it got inserted he slept in that chair the rest of the day. I left before him and he was still sleeping. So, it could definitely be worse. Everyone sitting in one of those chairs there has a story. I can't help but wonder. Anyway that was my day. It was not too bad. I had dinner afterwards at a restaurant in the mall. I had an awesome chicken parmesan. It was the best perhaps I've ever eaten. So my day didn't end too bad and I feel good today :) My hemoglobin was low again, or in other words I am anemic as usual with this chemo. Nothing I can do about it though. But my white blood count was good so I am happy. :)

Chemo Number 6 (July 31, 2007)

Well I am officially halfway done with chemo. I get 12 treatments which is considered 6 cycles. 2 treatments equals one cycle. I don't know why but that is how it is. Either way, I am halfway done and I feel like I have really accomplished something. I just got home. Today didn't go too bad. I went to get my blood drawn and get hooked up to the IV in my port. They got the IV in my port but again, no blood. The meds go into my port just fine but not one single drop of blood comes out. It's stupid. I don't get it at all. I can't bleed? So they poked me in the arm to draw some blood. That worked ok. They told me I was the 5th person today whose port wouldn't give up the blood. I am wondering what the point of this thing is if I am just gonna have to get another needle in me at each appointment anyway. Regardless I was never afraid of needles and that's a super good thing. I see my share of them now a days. My bloodcount was good. My iron was just a tad low which they said is normal around this time. So I am little bit anemic. I need to stock up on some iron. My blood pressure is always low but today it was 82/58. Sheesh. I sent Jason a text asking if I am technically still alive? (I always make sure my texts are very worth it. My stupid cell company just raised them to 20 cents each. Totally off topic. lol) No wonder I get lightheaded all the time. If I stand up fast I usually feel a sudden rush to my head that hurts then things get a tiny bit black then everything goes back to normal. I try to remind myself to standup slow but eh, I always forget. Anyway, they were pretty quick today in getting my meds changed. Usually my machine beeps forever before they change my med bag but today they were on top of things. I got out of there by about 12:40 which is awesome. Had some lunch afterwards at a new place. It was good. I feel actually pretty awesome except for being tired. Anemia and low blood pressure I think make you tired on top of getting up at 6 a.m. I sat in that chair and fell asleep today. I get so tired there and TV only makes me sleepier. Anyway, that's the latest update. I am doing really well. I am so glad I have made it 6 treatments and still haven't needed a shot to help my white blood cells or anything! I think that's a good sign. Oh and I still have my hair. It's shedding. I mean, I shed a lot. BUT no one else seems to notice too much so hopefully I will be able to keep my hair. I get nervous washing it because that is honestly when I shed the most. I try to be very easy on my hair. It lives in a ponytail at the moment. Otherwise I'll just have pieces of hair all over the back of my shirt. NOT attractive. I'll be glad when this is all over. Come December I'll get to tell the story of radiation. That's what's next. That is 5 days a week =/ For like 5 to 7 weeks. I am not sure exactly how long I'll get that. Not looking forward to it but I am looking forward to getting better. :) Thank you to all my friends who write me and respond to my blogs. It makes a girl feel loved!!!!