Friday, October 21, 2016

Suicide

On October 15th, 2016, my sister took her own life in a jail cell, isolated from other inmates. Her cries went ignored, per witness accounts. My sister was an addict. She had been found 3 days into a 29 day sentence with medication used to treat depression and addiction. She attempted to swallow all of these pills. There was a fight, or a scuffle as it was written in the newspaper. They put her in isolation and she cried and cried. Then she went silent. She was found with a bed sheet wrapped around her neck, hanging from the light fixture in her cell.

How does this happen? I can't say. My sister was an addict and she needed help. She was not given that help and she took her own life. I understand addicts are responsible for their actions. I know she made a whole lot of bad mistakes in her life. I also know she tried. She went to rehab. She left rehab. She went back to rehab. She lost so much in her life. She was abused as a child and hurt by someone she should have been able to trust. Her life thrust her into a whirlwind of addiction and at at times, prostitution to pay for those drugs.

According to witness accounts she stated she couldn't "do this anymore". She was crying this over and over until she fell silent. She was fully coded and was declared dead. My mom received a call to come identify her 32 year old daughter's body. The funeral costs are astronomical. We could use any help with funeral expenses. We cannot do this alone. Her body is in a freezer at the funeral home until we somehow come up with the cash. Please consider a dollar or two or whatever you can give. We will be pursuing this further, but until then, this is all we can do. Thank you!!!





Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Updates Updates Updates

I know it has been awhile since I've made a post. Life happens,  thankfully, and I get busy. I am working as an oncology nurse finally. After all I went through I am where I knew I was always meant to be. I'll see where this path takes me. I love being a nurse.  Sometimes it's hard seeing the struggles the families and patients go through. There isn't always a happy ending, but I like to think I give them some hope, knowing that if you keep fighting and holding onto faith, you can beat this thing and come out on top.
This past weekend I drove to Tennessee, through Kentucky, Missouri and back to Illinois. It was a fun trip! Had a wonderful time. It was really hot and I love the drive in the hot and sunny weather.
Gabbi has glasses now and she'll be in 3rd grade this year! That's hard to believe. My oldest Lexi graduated high school and my Mikayla will be a Junior and Angelina a freshmen. Time marches on. It keeps going whether we are ready or not. Last November I lost one of my best friends. He was born with spina bifida and though I knew he had occasional health issues (he was paralyzed) he was still your average guy, so smart, goofing off, having fun. He never let anything hold him back. I miss him. He always supported me though everything.
Other than that I just keep working. Hope everyone else is doing well. Comment and say hi if you stop by.






Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Every Day is a Blessing

I have learned a lot over the course of my life and all that I have been through. The most important thing in life is love and family. I say it a lot but my girls are my life. I have had many struggles lately. Life gets hard sometimes. It gets overwhelming even. It's not easy raising teenagers. It's not easy going through changes in life. 

My oldest daughter turned 18 and she has left home. My heart aches for her. I want to help her. I want to give her the world but I know there is so much she'll need to learn on her own. I know what's in store. I would love to protect her from it all but I can't. I shouldn't. Hard times build you up. They make you stronger. I know I am stronger though some days I don't feel like it. Some things haven't changed me for the better. I have flaws. Those things have made me evolve though. I try to be a good mom. I make mistakes. Each day I will keep trying to be better. Once you think you're the best, you can no longer improve. I'll keep working on it. Oh and Gabbi is no longer allergic to milk!!!! Yay!!!