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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Remembering Nova

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of the birth and passing of my first grandchild. It has been a difficult year for all of us. She will always be my granddaughter. I watched her come into this world knowing we would only have her for a short time. I saw her move her little legs and move her mouth. It was hard losing my grandchild but seeing my daughter go through this kind of pain is indescribable. Lexi loved this little girl with as much love in her heart as any mom could love their child. I saw that love in her eyes.

It was a difficult pregnancy. Everything seemed so perfect other Lexi being so sick. There were signs that something could be wrong but everything constantly checked out fine. After many trips to the ER and a high risk sonogram everything still seemed ok. Then the day came she went in for a sonogram and she had no fluid left. It was gone and we just didn’t know why. Lexi was admitted and she was going to wait and we thought maybe they can make this work. Lexi got a bad infection. So now I am worried about my daughter and my grandchild. Lexi spiked a fever and her heart rate was high. The lack of fluid created an infection. The baby was coming. I can never possibly express how difficult that realization was. 23 weeks along. Almost 24. And our Nova was making her entrance.

We were told that she had no chance of not being born without a serious defect or disability. Lexi made the most difficult decision of her life. She allowed Nova to live what small time she had peacefully in her mothers arms. That moment was the most intense I have experienced. The doctors and nurses had a difficult time keeping themselves together. When Lexi held Nova in her arms the doctor moved his chair across the room and turned around staring at the wall as he cried. That’s a moment I’ll never forget. It made ME cry because I knew they cared. Every nurse and doctor involved felt the pain. Nova mattered to them. Lexi was able to keep Nova with her in her room for several days with the help of a cooling cot. This was such a blessing because Lexi got to say goodbye in her own time. We kissed her goodbye and we had our funeral for our little girl. She holds a special place in our heart and always will.

We love you Nova Lynn. Always and forever in our hearts 3/20/2018.

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