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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Hug Your Dad This Christmas

I never knew until my dad died that he was the glue that held our family together. He wasn't perfect but he loved his girls. I miss him more each day but Christmas is especially hard. He loved the Holidays and family time. Cancer took him December 27th, 2009.  Don't take a moment for granted.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


This Thanksgiving my girls will be with their dad. This is exceptionally hard for me since I have never been without them on a holiday. I have experienced a lot of sadness over it and not even wanting to celebrate the holiday at all. Since I started this blog I have lost 3 grandparents and my father. My step mother moved away and we don't really talk anymore. I have allowed myself to get pretty down over it. I think I may just spend some time with my sisters. I could sit at home and feel sorry for myself. I have seriously considered it. I won't. I can't. I have to do what I have always done. I have to get back on my feet and keep on living. I love my little women and they are the reason I breathe every day. I am looking forward to Christmas!!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Seven Years in Remission, Seven Years Old

Gabriella just turned 7 on November 17th. It is, as I say every year, hard to believe how much time flies. She's grown into quite the little lady. She is feisty and definitely likes things her way. She loves her big sisters more than life and looks up to them. She enjoyed her birthday with some cake and presents.

I always reflect around her birthday about how much we have overcome and I'm very thankful. I'm thankful that the constant fear of the cancer returning has now faded away. I now focus on my life, my family, and my career. It's normal again. I'll always have that. I'll always be a survivor as will Gabbi. We beat it together. She gave me hope when it seemed it was hopeless. I fought for her. I'm here because of the strength and determination she gave me to fight. Maybe some day she'll truly know what she did for me.

I fought for my other girls as well, of course. They took care of me and had to grow up a little too fast because of it. I know it was hard on them. It's scary to see mom so sick. Moms can't get sick! I have some amazing little women. They are the reason I get up each day and do what I do. They are the reason I breathe. My greatest accomplishment wasn't becoming a nurse, or beating cancer. It was becoming a mother.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Growing Up

It's been so long since I posted that I'm making two blog posts!! My Gabbi is now 6 years old and going into first grade. She is getting bigger every day. I thought I'd share a pic of her and a pic of me 6 years in remission. I know there are those out there getting the awful diagnosis of pregnancy and cancer at the same time. We did it. Have faith!


I sometimes feel like my life has created a monster. I have a lot of love to give. I hate hurting people though in the process I sometimes hurt myself. I grew up with parents who firmly believed spare the rod and spoil the child. While I am not against spanking I find it difficult for me to do. I prefer other methods of discipline simply because I lived a life full of anger and constant arguing and bickering. I want no part of that life anymore or any memory of it. There is difference between a spanking and beating. I was beat daily. How can I inflict that on a child? I won't.

Do you find as a parent it's difficult to displine effectively? My children are as old as 17 and as young as 6. My Gabbi is my life and my miracle. I fought for her very existence. She by all rights shouldn't be here. They told me to abort her. So as she yells no and tells me she doesn't wanna do that or tells others "you're not my boss!" I wonder how to effectively discipline or change that behavior. It's so frustrating. There has been enough hitting and abuse in my own life to last a lifetime. I don't need to be reminded of any of it. So while I do not oppose spanking I tend to only spank in the most extreme situation. Do I care too much? Love too much? Am I hurting her? Maybe. I have my own issues with the teenagers. I will save that for another day! What are some of your best parenting tips?

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Life Changes

It's been awhile since I posted. I have neglected this blog for personal reasons. My life has changed a lot in the past two years. The biggest change has been one that I don't like talking about or making public but for me to continue writing it's necessary to say my marriage ended in 2012. I will leave it at that. He has been a part of my story and nothing will change that but my life has moved in other directions. I also haven't wanted to hurt anyone including family that has followed my story.

I want to keep writing though so it's time I put this out there. I'm happy. I'm healthy. My baby girl is 6 years old! She is happy and healthy as well. She just finished kindergarten. I got her a Yorkie puppy for her birthday who is a crazy little thing. She has chewed almost all my shoes and I find potty training difficult! We just love her though. Her name is Rapunzel due to Gabbi's insistence on that name. I decided to call her Punzie for short and it stuck.

I see my Oncologist once a year. I'm doing very well. I am strongly considering getting a Masters degree now and specializing in Oncology as an APN. That may be the next goal. I am focusing on my girls and raising them for now but I expect that more school will be in my future.