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Saturday, October 11, 2008

How Does the Financial Crisis Affect the Average Housewife in America?

I have no idea for sure. I am your average housewife for the most part and I've been thinking a lot lately about this whole financial crisis. I don't understand a lot of it honestly. The stock market is about as foreign to me as you can get. I know it's important and that's about it. I have learned to pinch pennies in the last few years. I don't get to go out to dinner anymore, or the movies. If I do it's such a rare treat. I am totally sick of Hamburger Helper with a capital S. I do what I can to cut back and save here and there. We're all feeling it. I know we are. I just want it to end and I want to get ahead some day.

I have plenty of outstanding medical bills because of the cancer and pregnancy. I had two trips on Life Flight. They are pretty expensive flights let me tell you. I spent two days in ICU which cost about the same and 5 days for preterm labor once and another day for preterm labor later. That doesn't count the time I was there when I actually delivered. I got so sick of hospitals.

My insurance was good. We had a max out of pocket but we still had a copay for every visit. I had a lot of docs and a whole lot of visits. Between my oncology doctor, my regular OB, my high risk OB, surgeons and radiation and blah blah blah. There was a lot. I chuckled though because I had a collection agency write me a letter. I do my best to give what I can ok. This collection agency said to me, "We have information about you and happen to know you can pay this bill."

What do they know about me that I don't? If they were my ONLY medical bill perhaps. If these agencies had any idea how large of a stack of bills they were sitting in. I still have a hefty amount of bills after insurance. I did get a great chuckle from that message. I didn't get mad. I laughed...and laughed and laughed. It was great. Sometimes these people just have no idea.

Poll: Who Will be Our Next President?

Nothing Seems to Want to Work

I have been trying to log on to a Entrecard all day today and yesterday and it's just not doing much. If you don't use it, and you blog, you should look into it. So far I have enjoyed it immensley. I can't seem to get on there though. I am getting slightly annoyed about it too.

I tried to update my template here on blogger. I didn't really want to use the same old templates available to everyone who uses this site. I found a site with some gorgeous templates and thought it would be great to use one. Well, after I saved it, extracted it, and uploaded it, blogger then asked me to confirm the deletion of allllll the things I added. Widgets, pictures, everything that I added to the sides. I couldn't do that...obviously. So I didn't change anything. If anyone out there has some tips on how to change the layout without messing up the things I have added, it would be great! I am just glad blogger warned me first.
I had more technical difficulties but they aren't all that interesting so I'll just leave that alone.

It's Saturday. I am tired today. My very good friend Diana stopped by last night with her hubby and two friends. We sang some karaoke in my basement. I have a large DJ/karaoke rig in my basement. It literally is a professional setup. We have had a whole lot of fun with it. I love to sing as I have stated before. Last night though my throat was beginning to hurt just a bit. I also was feeling pressure in my neck. Yes I get scared when I feel pressure there but it seems to be related to my neck/muscle tension. Regardless I sang a couple of songs and on the third one my throat began to tickle. I felt this tickle and wanted to cough. I knew I needed to cough but people were listening to me sing. I tried to wait for a break in the song to no avail. I turned and then proceed to hack and cough pretty much utnil my eyes turned red and watery. Now that my friends, is talent. LOL =/

Here's a video of me singing it up if you are interested. Oh and this is in my basement. ;) I couldn't figure out WHICH video to post. I have SEVERAL on youtube. Feel free to look around. haha

Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday Night and a Preggo Pic!

I was going through my pics and found a picture of me big and pregnant. I was still going through treatments here. The second pic is of me yesterday. I am so glad it wasn't too hard to get the weight off. I really didn't need that added worry. Though I did lose a lot of weight during the whole beginning I really did gain quite a bit. I started sick at around 92 pounds and ended up at around 127. It's a decent weight gain. I am only 5'2". I'm a shorty! My oncologist told that contrary to popular belief the chemo drugs can make you gain weight. I was terrified at that point.

Anyone watching a local football game tonight? I mentioned in an earlier post that MY school and my kids current school are playing against each other tonight. They are both undefeated at this point. My husband just called to say they are tied zero to zero at half time! The totally funny thing that I had forgotten until today is that years ago when I was a freshmen or sophomore my school was so small we didn't have enough students for a football team. We consolidated JUST the football team with my kids current school. That only lasted for about a year or two. It didn't work out but it's pretty cool. The kids playing against each other tonight used to be one team. :) It's all confusing I know!

My Mother's Day in Bed and My Hair

I mentioned in my six favorite things in a previous post, that I am thankful for remission and that I'll never have to spend another Mother's Day in bed, or hopefully so anyway! I thought I'd give more insight as to what I meant by that.

My biopsy surgery was May 4th 2007. I found out the day prior that the oncologist thought it was a lymphoma. It's so hard to really through writing put you all in my shoes. I had found out at the end of April 2007 that I was pregnant. This was not a planned pregnancy just so you all know. I had three children and I had went back to college to pursue a career. I was done. It happened though and I was in shock. I was really just absorbing the idea of another child. I had been feeling tired, short of breath and this AWFUL fullness and lump in my chest and throat. I had been told since about 2004 that it was my thyroid. I do have nodules but they kept blowing my symptoms off. I saw Ear, Nose and Throat specialists, endocrinologists, my regular doctors, etc. I had MULTIPLE sonograms on my throat. I was constantly told "You have nodules but they aren't big enough to be causing you these symptoms." They would tell me to come back in 3 months for another sonogram. I want to cry sitting here thinking about it. I listened to them. At the time I wanted them so much to tell me my nodules were huge they had to come out! I wanted it because I felt this pressure. I couldn't take it. I felt awful. I was wheezing. They put me on Singular and Allegra. Ironically the Singular DID help me to breathe better for awhile. The pressure, nothing helped that. I always described it this felt like someone took both thumbs and jammed them into either side of my throat and left them there. On top of that I felt like I was standing on my head all day. You know when the blood rushes to your head? I felt like that 24/7. No one listened, until I moved. I got soooo much worse right at the time I got pregnant. I always felt the pregnancy may have worsened my symptoms because of the pregnancy itself pushing my organs and further smooshing things. I still think this baby may have saved my life. I let it go for FOUR years. Who knows how long I may have let it go. I saw a new endocrincologist and I practically cried to her and she knew the second she saw me something was terribly wrong. I had a fine needle biopsy on the nodules. I'll explain THAT horrible procedure another time. She did another sonogram. She saw a mass and quietly to herself said it didn't seem connected to the thyroid. I did feel a sort of drop in my stomach when she said that. Anyway she had me get an MRI and then when those results came back I was sent immediately to the cancer center. I got so bad so fast at this point. Like I said, May 4 I had my biopsy. They sent it to pathology and it was so hard they could not cut into it. They only found scar tissue. So they sent it off to the Mayo Clinic where a definite diagnosis was made. This took about a week. During this time I felt so awful I can't describe it. Getting up to go to the bathroom was a chore. I had to lie in bed propped with about 5 pillows and when I moved to get up it sent me into a violent coughing fit that sent stabbing pains into my left shoulder. These pains are worse than anything I've ever felt. Literally like a knife jabbing into my shoulder. On top of that the coughing made me instantly nauseated. This wasn't a passing feeling either. I would get that feeling like I was going to throw up. I'd stand still trying to wait it out to no avail. My mouth would get really moist and I'd have to throw up. I did. Many times.
This gives you an idea of what I was going through. May 4 is not far from Mother's Day. I was in bed. MY first chemo was May 22nd so I had not yet been treated. I felt like I would stop breathing at any moment. I didn't like to move at all because of the pain and the coughing, and nausea. My husband took my girls to the store to get me gifts for Mother's Day. He rarely let them come upstairs because he knew how much pain and discomfort I was in. I missed them SO much though. I wanted to hold them and squeeze them but I couldn't. He brought them upstairs when they had the gifts and the girls were so proud. I had to open the cards and the gifts and show my pleasure and excitement all while thinking in my head how I needed to sit back and how I could not breathe and I just needed to close my eyes. It was such a combination of feelings. I wanted them there but at the same time needed them gone. It's horrible! You can't imagine. I couldn't take hurt and made it harder to breathe. I gasped after every word I spoke. You could see it in their eyes...the worry. So I put on a brave face and smiled. I never ever want to spend another Mother's Day like that so I hug and squeeze my girls every second I get. I tell them I love them and I shriek with joy at the gifts they give. If it's a crumpled up taped and stapled piece of paper it's the best thing in the world to me. I'll never again take for granted another Mother's Day or any moment with my children.

Now, about my hair. It was very unhealthy after chemo. I somehow lucked out and didn't lose it all but it thinned at least 50% if not more. I thought I was lucky until I realized it was straw. So I cut it all off. I am used to shoulder length hair. I am enjoying curling it and trying new styles. I think I've grown back another inch on my hair. I probably need to keep trimming it so the ends aren't fried but ugh I want to grow it out. I am not positive the best way to do it. The pic is one I took yesterday with no curls....just straight hair. :) Thanks for reading all this by the way!!

I Think I Want to Do it All

I said earlier I am somewhat of an artist. I love to draw. Compared to my friend Bethany over at Happy to be Called a Mommy I don't feel quite as talented but she is the one who inspired me to take my talent further than I had at the time. I love to draw. I wish I put MORE time into it. I tend to let it sit for long periods of time. I use a technique called gridding to help get proportions right. To anyone who may think this is in any way cheating....well it's not. I don't think people really think that much these days. It's merely a tool to help get accurate proportions. If you haven't got the talent you won't be able to do much good with it. You may have an outline. You still have to fill it all in with shading and detail. This method is not really that easy in itself. You have to draw a very light grid with PERFECT squares to match the grid you have on your photo reference. Getting these squares perfect is a time consuming job that isn't as easy as you may think. Other things that I love to do besides drawing are singing, crocheting, cross stitching, reading and well I am sure there is more. Well it's time for me to go into mommy mode and get the kids to school. Enjoy my pictures. I hope it gives you insight into what I do.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Paying it Forward, As They Say

I mentioned before that I was interested in being a nurse. Well, way back in 2005 I believe it was, I decided to go back to college. My youngest was 3 and I was just ready to go. I had gotten married quite young and never pursued those dreams. Back then I wanted to go into Radio and Television Broadcasting. I was always told I had a very clear and strong speaking voice. My college speech teacher even told me this in speech class which was a HUGE compliment. I get nervous like everyone else, but I guess once I get up there I just go. I just do it and then take a deep breath. Anyway I went back to college thinking of becoming a Dental Hygienist. After taking Anatomy and Physiology I and II and then Microbiology, Chemistry, and all those other fun classes I realized that all the women, and men in my class were going into the nursing program. I contemplated it. I had always been interested in it. Dental Hygiene to me seemed like an *easier* goal but then I realized all the courses up to a certain point are the same. It's not really easier. So I decided to switch. I wanted to do nursing. I didn't know what kind of nursing. Well in 2007 right before finals I was just so sick I couldn't stand it. I missed my Algebra final because I was just diagnosed and quite frankly couldn't get out bed. I only missed the final and already had an A in the class so my teacher told me it was OK. I'd get the A. Yeah! I have been out of school since then. I want to go back.

On my first day of chemo a young beautiful nurse came up to me and started talking to me. She was a Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor!!! She assured me if I ever needed anything to talk to her. She told me she had lost all her hair, she related to how I was feeling. I could have talked to her all day. I felt a kindred spirit in her. I use that reference because I am currently reading Anne of Green Gables but that's a whole different conversation. haha Anyway I decided that day I wanted to give it back...or pay it forward if you will. I knew right then my calling was to be an oncology nurse. I wanted to give back that wonderful feeling of hope...of seeing a survivor well, surviving! So I have been contacting the local college of nursing. I plan on attending an open house on November 8th and though I can't get into class until Spring of 2010 I do have some prerequisites left to do. I need more Algebra (fun) and also some psychology. I am looking forward to it all. I didn't want to rush back to school right after Gabbi so I plan on taking these classes online if I can. Then by the time I do clinicals it will be 2010 so she'll be 3!! Yikes. I am ready though and by then I'll be more than ready.

Is it 10:00 a.m. Yet???

I got up this morning, doing the usual morning rush to get the kids to school. I didn't have to get Gabriella up since hubby was home. He really shouldn't be. He got the day off already for my follow up appointment. Being the workaholic he is though, I'm sure he'll go in at some point. I got back home with my ever frequent cup of coffee near by (a safe distance from my laptop), and the Internet was craaaaaaaawling. It is so irritating when the Internet is down, or going so slow you end up screaming at the page to open already. I gave up for awhile but thankfully when I got back it was up and running perfectly this time. My Internet server is always down. I mean always. It is wearing on my last nerve too. I don't have the option of another server here because I am a small town chick. I would switch if I had any choice whatsoever.

I should have been leaving for my follow up soon...but since it was rescheduled, I'll be around the house thinking about it instead. haha Oh well. I will manage I think.

I received a blog award today! From a great blog "Searching For My Inner Skinny". That girl has a wonderful sense of humor! I love reading her blogs. The catch is, I have to name 6 things that make me happy and 6 other blogs to receive the award. So here goes!

1. Being in remission. Come on. This has to be number one. Being cancer free means I get to be here with my kids. I don't have to be in bed on another Mother's Day not able to breathe. It's a good thing.

2. My kids,and moooooost of the time my hubby. (Ha!)

3. My house. I love this house. I finally bought my own home early this year. 2008 just started off so much better than 2007. Remission and a new house. A new beginning.

4. Art. I love to draw. I love drawing portraits. I'll make a new post about that later.

5. Music. I love to sing. I couldn't when I was sick and that alone practically killed me.

6. Chocolate. Oh...nevermind. Anything sweet. Give it to me. :)

OK. I am passing this award onto these blogs in no particular order.

1. Happy to Be Called a Mommy

2. Miscellaneous Babbling's

3. The Mom with Brownies

4. Blurbs from the Burg

5. On the Verge

6. Paige's Place

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

He's Staring at Me!

I got home from picking up the kids from school today only to hear a scream coming from the back bedroom shortly after walking in the door. I am used to this having 4 daughters. Ear piercing wails are pretty much the norm. So I rarely react with too much excitement. My middle child Mikayla said there was a preying mantis on her bedroom window. Upon walking into the room, she saw just a huge shadow of this interesting creature. We have a pull down shade on a large window in her room. The sun was shining very brightly so all you could see was this large shadow of a giant bug. She got the courage up somehow to lift the blind. He was on the outside of the window. I have always been fascinated by these insects. I was always a bug girl as a kid. I liked my princess crowns, with a cricket in the other hand. Yes, it's true. I liked bugs. I don't touch them now but looking is still fascinating to me. If you have never had the privilege (hee hee) of seeing a preying mantis at close range, you have no idea how odd it is. These bugs really do resemble an alien. They have this wide, almost upside down tear dropped shaped head, and they stare at you. I like tapping the window off to the side where he is not looking, because he turns his head slowly, exorcist style towards you, as if saying "Don't mess with me." Trust me. I won't be messing with him anytime soon.

Oh and here is another cute pic of Gabbi I just took :) I can't help myself. And if you are subscribed I am sorry if you got this post 100 times. I had to keep editing it because the pictures were cutting off my words.

Yes, It's Rescheduled for October 23rd!

One cannot imagine how difficult it is to know you have an appointment coming up to make sure your cancer has not returned. Though most of you says "It's still gone, don't worry. You're Fine." There is still that little part that says "But what about this and what about that, and it's possible!!!" So you know, there is this inner struggle. It gets really hard the closer you get to that follow up. The follow up is a combination of anxiety and at the same time relief. You do expect the doc to say "you're fine!". Then you get to feel relief until that next appointment. So you can imagine my dismay when the nurse called to reschedule me. I imagine my doctor had a meeting, conference or some medical procedure to attend to. I am not upset by that. It happens. My appointment however is now rescheduled for the end of the month! I have to start the anxiety process all over again. haha Oh my.

I am going to post later about nursing school. This is something I actually started BEFORE I got sick...was very rudely interrupted with cancer and now I'm going to be going back. The kicker in it all? I decided to become an oncology nurse as a result of it all. More on that later.

Oh and doesn't Gabriella look like a Cabbage Patch baby??? That pic is from August.

Reschedule??? Oh No :(

So, I got a call from a number I did not recognize. I didn't answer but let it go to voicemail because, well....that's what I do. I screen calls. It was one of the many numbers from my oncologist's office. My doctor is going to be OUT tomorrow! Whhhhhaat? My third follow up is tomorrow! I have been anxious for 2 weeks. My hubby took the day off to go with me since it is a 1 1/2 hour drive! I have to call to reschedule. I wonder if maybe I can come in the morning instead? I don't know. I am going to go call now. I don't want the anxiety to build up again. It's nice to just have it done and then you don't have to worry for another 3 months. Well, not as much anyway! haha

My Other Family Member

I never knew how fast I could run until I got a Siberian Husky. Well we assume she's Siberian. We adopted her 3 years ago from PAWS. Her tag said Husky. She has the most gorgeous sea blue eyes and a beautiful curling tail. Why did I have to run fast? Well she's also an escape artist. I never had any idea how fast a dog could run until you see nothing more than a fuzzy black and white blur zip past you. Yes, she likes to escape. The first time I found this out was right after we first got her. I took it as a personal insult at the time. I figured she didn't like it at our house. After all we had rescued her! Why would she run? haha I had opened the back door to my house, not really even thinking about it and she took that opportunity to fly out the back door. We at the time lived directly in front of horse stables. She terrified those poor horses. She played and ran and got covered in horse manure. She finally came home 3 hours later to the sound of her squeaky toys. She has since done this oh about 10 to 15 times. She did it a lot when guests would come over unfortunately. She was a 100% inside dog at the time. Oh I should also mention she sheds. Very very badly. Huge clumps of falling fur. That's another story. Anyway we moved in February and this house came complete with a giant kennel that attaches to the house. It leads into the garage. She gets much more fresh air and since we have a fully fenced in back yard? She can run and play now zipping around as much as she wants. I love it! She's a good dog but a fast one. I used to grab her leash and drive around searching for her. I am definitely ready to say goodbye to those days! Here's my little devil in disguise. Her name is Sasha. ;)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Free Samples?

I found this through another person's blog. Seems it's udpated fairly regularly. They run out of specific samples fast but hey, it's worth a shot right?

OK. Super Confusion Has Set In.

Now I see the comment thing on THIS post, but not on like the past 5. I hope it continues to work because I am a little beyond irritated here. haha I like getting comments, knowing this is getting read and being seen. I got an e-mail from someone letting me know they could not comment. If not for that, who knows how long it would have before I noticed!! Maybe I did something right. I wish I could fix the old posts though :(


So, suddenly you can't comment on my blog?? I can't figure it out either. I have no idea what is wrong. I have looked at my settings and everything seems fine. You can see comments on my old posts. You can see the comment button for posts with no comments. It says 0 comments. I have messed with it and looked around and clicked here and there to no avail. I am getting really really frustrated here.

The Ugly Side of Cancer

I'm just going back through some old pictures....from the past year. It's been almost a year since my very last chemo. October 23rd November 2007 was my last chemo. It's hard to believe. I found some pictures from during my treatments and thought I'd share.

First picture is AFTER chemo. You see the huge biopsy scar, the bandage from where they removed the port that was used to give me chemo (which has a nice little scar now too) and the big black x made with a permanent marker for radiation. I had to leave that there for 1 month while treatment was underway. I figured people would think I was some weirdo who drew on herself.

Here is a picture I probably didn't want to show back then. The port. I lived with this lump in my chest for about a year. It felt weird when it was gone.

This picture may not look bad to someone. I know what is wrong though. Seriously wrong. I could hardly breathe here. It was at the stage when if I so much as lifted an arm it would make my face turn red and choke me. Now, it was obviously not as bad as I got because I could still get around. I knew when I took this pic something was wrong. I thought I looked full....something odd. Well yes. You see one clavicle, not not the other. You see the vein sticking out of my neck on my right. That's because the huge tumor was in my chest pushing everything out. It was compressing my veins and as my doc put it, I had the neck of a linebacker.

No, some people may not think that looked bad. I hated that pic. I always thought I looked weird.

Here is my hardest moment. The worst. I had this surgery literally the day after the doc told me he thought it was lymphoma. It was early in the morning. I had only known I was pregnant for a couple of weeks. We didn't even know how the baby would handle the anesthesia. I had to have my surgery sitting up. The surgeon was a cardiac surgeon because of the location of the tumor. He had never done a surgery with a patient sitting almost straight up. They had to create a wedge sort of thing for me to sit up against because if I were to lie flat I could not breathe. They cut into my chest and yes shaved a little bone. It's gross...but this is my reality. I see a dip in my chest from this!! It's in the tip of the scar which by the way has a permanent black dot on the tip of it to always mark where I had radiation. at my sickest. I rarely post these pics but I think the reality of cancer does need to be shown.

And now, my PET Scan. I took a shot with my phone while I was waiting for the radioactive drug to course through my veins. I have to get injected and wait for almost an hour. They won't even stay near you or touch the needle they inject you with. It's all in a big metal cylinder. Seriously. It's that dangerous....and they injected it in me. =/

This is a pic of me, the day I finished chemo and had a ceremony and got a certificate. I was VERY pregnant and actually went into the hospital that night with preterm contractions for the second time.

And just because I am an insecure person posting nasty pics of myself I have to find one good new healthy pic of me.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Football Anyone?

This Friday will be an interesting game for me. I have lived in my current town now, since February. We bought a house here. It was like a new beginning for me since 2007 was such a hard year. I am enjoying this town. The school is not a bad one, even though I did just rant about my kids not learning their math at school. I'm just irritated. I get over things pretty quickly though. haha Anyway my girls really have the team spirit here. Last week was our homecoming and I think the score ended in the upper 60' ZIP. We are undefeated. I love that feeling. I haven't been able to make it to any games. I do keep track of the scores and I watch the news and look at the web for updates. With the baby, it's just too cold to go out to the games. The hubby goes though. He fills me in. The big deal about this game? They are playing MY school. The school I went to from Kindergarten until I graduated. I was a lucky girl. I got to go to one school from Kindergarten to 8th. Then I attended my highschool Freshmen and Sophomore year. We then consolidated with a nearby town, moving my school 6 miles to a new building. The school did change names but it was still the same school system. This is my team. I was on the Pom Pon squad...did the school dance with my shiny pom pons. They are a great team. The football team there has always been great. They are undefeated this year. They are going head to head Friday night. Both undefeated. Now. Who should I feel more loyalty to? This is hard! I want to support my kids school, my town and in some ways that's where I lean towards. Then I think about MY school. I can't help but feel loyalty to them too. What are your thoughts?

Long Day

It wasn't such a bad day this morning. Gabriella and I did our usual thing. I did some cleaning and things were honestly pretty relaxed. Then my older 3 got home from school. I picked them up and when I was picking up my 6 year old I heard grinding. Grinding sounds coming from your car = NOT GOOD. So, I am kinda wondering what that sound is. I hope it's not bad brakes. I actually lost all brakes back in the olden days...when I was like 17. My brakes went out on my car about oh...100 feet from railroad tracks. Yeah. Scary. Anyway. I'm still alive so it turned out ok evidently. haha Anyway that was problem number one. Then, I get home and my 8 year old has an F on a math paper. I get stressed and blame myself for these things. I have helped her with it so many times. My 11 year old is having to learn if numbers are divisible by other numbers blah blah blah. So I have to basically TEACH her everything. Do they not teach at school?? haha I have so many other things going on. I want to help her but I am not just *helping* her. I am reading her entire lesson and going over the WHOLE thing with her and showing her exactly how to do it, even throwing in my old hints and tips. I feel like I may as well be homeschooling all of them. That's just my stress for today. Then my cable went out for a couple of hours. Now, Gabriella is fussy. So, I am off to put her to bed. I hope I can get about 2 seconds to relax tonight!

The Falling Leaves

I love this time of year, when each day a few more leaves fall off the trees. As long as there are no terribly windy storms or bad rains, we'll get to see a vast array of colors as the cold starts to set in and the leaves change and then fall from the trees. I decided to start taking one picture per week of the pretty trees in my backyard. It will document how many leaves fall per week and how much color change there is. I have some pretty trees back there. I will probably take pictures of other areas with a lot of colorful trees too just so I don't miss any of that beauty.'s so gorgeous here this time of year. The corn is coming down for harvest and you can see for miles across the empty fields. Pumpkins by the semi full keep making their way through my town. It really gives the whole fall feeling.

Here is the promised picture.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Is it already October 5th?

Where does the time go. I am eager to go out and buy the kids some Halloween costumes. My middle child Mikayla wants to be Bo Peep and dress up the baby as a sheep. haha That would be cute if I knew where to get the costumes.

It really does seem this year has flown right by. I have been in remission since February. I think I'll have to celebrate at the one year mark. It seems like a requirement to me. haha I am so thankful. I am anxious for my appointment. It's this week. I cannot really believe it honestly. For those who are new to my blog, I was on the local news on two channels out of two cities. My oncologist was interviewed for the news so when we go there everyone remembers us. I think even new nurses know us because of it. It just gets me excited when I go because those docs and nurses know just how much of a miracle Gabriella really is!

Fall is under way and I am definitely going to be taking some pictures of the changing leaves. I am thinking I might start taking one picture per week...then put them all together. That would be really interesting I think. Definitely cool! I have two beautiful slightly different colored maple trees (I think) in my back yard. Maybe I'll do those two. It would be a neat thing to see how much they change each week!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!!

Put a Tip in the Tip Jar, Get on My Top Spots!

If anyone has a clue how to add HTML towards the TOP portion of my blog without making a new post, I'd love to know. haha I've been doing this for awhile and it adds everything to the bottom. But if you'd like to get on my list of top blog spots, just give me a tip :) The link is at the bottom. You can get this widget yourself and get tips from your blog too. I have heard from others it is a handy gadget and gets your blog listed on other sites top spots. I want to increase my traffic here and it seems a good place to start. Please scroll to the bottom of this page if you want to be listed in my Top Spots!

Edit: I figured it out! Notice that my Top Spots is now directly to the left. Please, feel free to tip me and it will put your blog or site on my top spots. :)

Forgot to Mention

My appointment is on October 9th. I love my doctor. It's honestly really nice to see him and all the nurses. They watched me go from a whopping 92 pounds....I think since it was the last time I had weighed myself after I got sick, to around 127 pounds right before I delivered. The doc was thrilled about it of course. I mean, you see a patient come in. You know she just found out she was pregnant and you have the job of telling her she has cancer. I was a bag of bones. That was probably pretty scary for him and hard to do. I respect every nurse and doctor there more than they can possibly know. I am at a good weight now for me. So I have no complaints. I think the oncologist's office as a whole loves seeing how healthy I look compared to before and quite honestly Gabriella is a little celebrity there. How would you feel as a nurse administering chemo drugs into a visibly pregnant patient? I always imagined that was hard for them at least at first. I don't know though. So little is really known about chemo during pregnancy. If you do any research at all on pregnancy and cancer together, you'll absolutely find the website That site helped SO much. I found a supporter through that site who helped me so much. I have since lost touch with her and her blog vanished. I find it SO odd because she was a faithful blogger. Anyway, that site is great and I plan on becoming a supporter now myself. I just need to watch this DVD they sent me on how to do it. I need to get this done. More than anything I want to give back what everyone gave me. Hope. Just remember me on follow up day. My nerves are just awful usually around that time. Last time I had a nightmare the week before that it came back. I dreamt the doc took hubby into a seperate to tell him first. It was horrifying. I think I feel a little less afraid this time around. I am not quite sure why. I am up way too late. Time for bed!