Pink Eye, Sore Throats and Colds, Oh My

Yes these things have been making the rounds at my house. First my daughter Angelina woke up with a swollen, crusted over and closed eyelid. It revealed to be very red once she got it open. We were prescribed drops. The eye began to improve quickly then the other eye became infected. Then Mikayla got the pink eye, from one eye to the next. So far no one else has gotten it, but now we are all, including myself, complaining of sore throats. Even Gabbi has a bad cold. So I guess it's that time of year. I hope we can avoid anything serious. I can deal with a bit of a scratchy throat.

I have done a lot of reading that says having Lymphoma can actually weaken your immune system. So I am not sure but I don't think mine is not as strong. I seem to fight off colds and illness just as well as I ever have. I read something about being more susceptible to catching things but still, I don't feel I have gotten sick more often. I guess being careful is ok regardless, but I really have not seen a change. It's just another one of those things. You never really do know what permanent changes cancer will bring to your own life personally. You can only wait and see.

So Much to Do, If Only I Could Move My Feet

Oh I can move my feet. It's a matter of wanting to. I got a few blog awards this week! I love getting them and I wanted to thank those who gave them. I also got tagged. I saved these in my e-mail and am going to post those up tonight. I get a little lazy sometimes but I do plan on getting those done. I feel it's an honor for anyone reading my blog to feel it's worthy of an award from them.

I'm feeling just a tiny bit drained today because Gabbi did in fact catch my second cold. I had a bad sore throat for a few days only a few days after I recovered from the first cold. Well Gabbi got it and worse. She ran a slight fever last night and was coughing. She would occasionally whine in her sleep so of course, I wasn't getting any sleep. I brought her to my bed and cuddled her and today she seems to be feeling better. She's stuffed up, but better. I hate seeing a little one with a sore throat. I am guessing that's what was wrong. She can't tell me that. I know I whine and get upset when my throat hurts.

I plan on doing a blog post tomorrow about chemotherapy during pregnancy. I want to get some good accurate information. I have a whole lot of things in my head but I don't want to just babble out what I already know. So look forward to that coming soon.

Gabbi has taken a liking to suckers. We don't give them often, but this particular brand has no allergens in it. The package clearly stated no milk, nuts, eggs, etc in these so since she has a milk allergy I was pretty excited. I gave her a sucker and helped her with it. Other than sticking it in her eye and trying to touch her hair with it (ouch) she did pretty good! Oh and we bought her a Yo Gabba Gabba hat. That show is well...odd. But since her name is Gabriella sometimes we call her Gabbi Gabbers or Gabba Gabbers, etc. Well every time this show yells Yo Gabba Gabba I think she believes they are saying her name. haha It's cute. She likes it and it seems pretty harmless. So here she is modeling her hat and eating her sucker. She sure has grown a lot from that Christmas pic from last year in the previous post hasn't she? Wow. Oh and she was holding a tiny little plastic water gun. I didn't let her hold it long as it's not really age appropriate but she was really enjoying it for the short time I let her hold it.

How It Feels To Be the Caregiver

One thing that used to be a touchy subject for me and my husband, was who my cancer was harder on. Yes it sounds crazy doesn't it? Of course I had it more rough! Or so I always told myself. Yes, I had a terrible time and I was the one lying in bed for a month. I couldn't breathe and with each gasping breath I did take it caused great pain. I couldn't eat without being sick. I couldn't sit up without gagging, coughing, choking. Then my husband made me realize how incredibly difficult it was. I caught him one night watching me while I slept. I just opened my eyes in the middle of the night and there he was sitting on the floor by my bed, staring at me. I felt loved. It wasn't until later I realized he was afraid I would stop breathing in the night. My breathing was loud, wheezing, gasping.

It finally hit me. He asked me "What would you do if you had to listen to your child breathe like that at night, knowing they could die?" I get stressed out and worry when my child gets the flu. How much more would I worry about cancer? I hate stress and worry. It can eat a person alive. That's what it was doing to my husband for a year. He said he watched me sleep a lot. I do know for a fact he would stay up all night long and only take naps when he knew I was awake or that my older daughter was home from school. He was afraid to leave me for a moment. I was carrying his child as well so it didn't help. He drove me to every single appointment. He never missed a single sonogram for the baby. He was at every chemo treatment. I couldn't have done it alone. If I talked like I might not get through or what would he do if I didn't, he'd immediately tell me that was not even an option so I may as well shut up. I chuckle about it because I love it. I love that he gave me no choice!

I spoke earlier about what do you say to a person who is diagnosed with cancer and the truth is all you can do is support them. Tell them you are thinking of them, you love them, or tell them they're strong, you know they can do it, definitely don't ever refer to it as terminal or without hope even if that's what you have really heard. Otherwise there is no right or wrong thing to say. It's hard to be the person that doesn't have cancer. You love someone who is so sick and you feel at a complete loss. You can't save their life though you want to. You feel totally helpless. My husband felt that way. I saw it more clearly after I got better. He once told me that after I was declared in remission he could then have his stroke. I told him he better not dare. We are getting through it together! I think much love and respect needs to be given to those who are losing sleep caring for and worrying over a loved one or friend who is sick. That in itself is painful like a disease. So from a patient I want to give my love, respect and humble adoration for all you caregivers out there who give so much of yourself helping those who need it, when they need it most.

Update A cold??? :( August 26, 2007 - Sunday

Well, I have been trying to avoid getting sick and I knew it wasn't possible. STILL I tried. I started feeling a scratchy throat a couple of days ago. Now it is a full on cough up a lung, stuffy/runny nose cold. I am praying that my white blood cells are still good enough to fight this off with no problems. The biggest complication I have read about with people with cancer is things like pneomonia. If I run a fever at all I have to call my doc. Well any fever 100.5 or more. That's on the list of reasons to call the doc. Severe sore throat is on there too, but I wouldn't call this severe. Annoying. But not severe. So I hope I am better soon. I have my 8th chemo on Tuesday and I would rather be healthy that day. =/ Other things I have noticed is the nausea is back a bit. I am feeling nauseas after only a few bites of food. So my appetite is decreasing again. I hope that fades too. I like to eat and this is making me mad. I can't enjoy eating when it just makes me feel sick. :( Oh and I should mention I get to where I feel SOOO tired. Like I just need to lie down and not move right then and there. I went out to dinner last night. Ate maybe 3 bites of steak. Tried to finish a baked potato. Did about half of it then knew I'd throw up if I ate more. I was so depressed. Then I just felt so tired that I needed to lie down. I came home and slept for about 2 hours. Then I felt better. I think the fatigure is due to my anemia and of course the chemo. I usually just pop a vitamin and drink a cup of water and it helps. I didn't do that last night. The vitamins make me nauseas. LOL. So I dread taking them. =/ I decided to just take one today. So far, I am not too tired.