Sunday, May 3, 2009

Is It Almost May 8th Already??

Yes it is. As a matter of fact it is Friday. My appointment is that day. It will be a long day. I start at 11:00 a.m. with the ECHO I believe...then the CAT scan at 12:00. I may have it backwards. I wrote it down somewhere! Then I see my oncologist at 2:00. So yes it will be a very long day. I have to get my blood drawn, all the lab work etc. Then of course it's time to parade Gabriella around the oncology office. They love her and she has gotten so incredibly big. She's really starting to walk now. She's a late walker as I have stated before, but I really blame myself for that. I have spoiled and/or babied her so bad.

This is the time I usually get paranoid about my appointments. I have experienced nightmares in the past, constant fear of it recurring. I have to admit I haven't been to bad this time around. I absolutely DO have pressure in my neck but I am almost at the point where I think this may be my new normal. I hate it. I do also have to take into consideration that I do have thyroid nodules in there that contribute to that lump in my throat feeling. It's not like it used to be. I remind myself I can breathe. I am not wheezing. It doesn't hurt to breath. I can brush my hair without my face turning red and the veins bulging out of my neck. I have to take into consideration that it really is nothing like it used to be. I guess so far, I am doing ok. After the CAT scan I may be better or worse. haha Depending on what they find. Hopefully all looks good and I can really really feel in remission and relax. I mean I have been in remission now for a year and 3 months. Yet there is never that feeling of being free from cancer. You always have that little fear that it will come back. Then you worry because you know treatment is harder the second time around...and your risks go up. So I would just rather not deal with all that.

I appreciate thoughts and prayers that all will be well. I also hope that this week is not a LOOOONG one. ;)

7 comments:

Luv a Bargain Sherri said...

I will be thinking of you this week. I know saying "try not to worry" would be silly, but "try not to worry too much"

MaryAnne said...

You'll be in our thoughts and prayers...

Tita Beng said...

I absolutely understand the feeling Sandi. It's not that easy to just ignore what you feel but I would advise (if it's alright w/ you) to be a positive thinker. Being a breast cancer survivor for 16 years, I had my toughest time too. But I practiced positive imagination. I kept imagining (really concentrated)those li'l crabs crawling out of my body and die in the process. I am still doing it every morning while taking shower. I'm declared to have a clean bill of health since my treatments were over. Just sharing!

I'll include you in my prayers.
.

Melissa said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, this week, and always. I hope it all turns out good.

Split Rock Ranch said...

I will be thinking of you and praying for your continued good health. Many blessings to you and your family!

waluyo said...

let's hope the God bles U forever

Sherry said...

Good luck. Hope everything goes well.