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Monday, November 24, 2008

What Does, What Doesn't...and What's in My Head?

After you go through something like cancer, topped with chemotherapy and radiation there are bound to be lingering side effects. I never really fully felt like I could breathe again until I gave birth. Pregnancy alone makes you winded so I just waited it out and started to feel back to normal again. I have strange symptoms to this day though. All can relate right back to chemo. It's usually due to one specific drug in that regimen. Every now and then you get tingling or electric feelings in fingers and toes. It's pretty rare these days. It happened a lot more early on. In the ABVD regimen the "B" drug can cause lung damage or lung problems. So whenever I have felt winded at all I get nervous. I immediately think "is the cancer back? Do I have lung problems?" I have lately been feeling the occasional prickly feeling in my neck. Sort of an itchy feeling too. OK. Is it, allergies? Side effects? Cancer? So you see, after you have cancer it never stops haunting you. You don't want to be obsessed but yet your body is never the same. The pressure in my neck comes and goes. Some days I'll be completely convinced something is wrong and the next day I'll feel completely fine.

Cancer is a bully. It knows it can continue to haunt you once it has touched you. I personally am determined to not ever let it win.


Anonymous said...

You are amazing. Really. I can't imagine going through cancer let alone doing it while pregnant. That must double the emotional scar.

It sounds a lot like how people describe restless leg syndrome. That unexplained tingling. I imagine it is a constant battle to not panic whenever you feel something slightly off. I know when I had those few months before my biopsy, every time I felt something in my breast I panicked.

I have awarded you the I Love Your Blog award. Stop by to pick it up.


Sandee said...

Good for you. I love your attitude. Have a terrific day. :)

Svr said...

I still think cancer stole my brain!

Comment luv is cool visitors leave their comments as normal but everyone gets to see the snippet from the visitors last post and can just click on it and it takes you there.

I don't believe it slowed me down at all...I'll have to check: Here's where you left you comment go click at it:

Unknown said...

Excellent! Don't let it bully you. Live well and live happy.