What a Way to Wake Up

Yes I didn't wake up in the most pleasant way today. I have felt a sore throat coming on since Saturday which is not good since I really just got over a nasty cold. Gabbi did too and now I'm afraid of passing it on to her again. Anyway, I woke up and it felt much much worse. It's pretty scratchy. I realized I had fallen asleep with the TV on. It's about 6 a.m. and I look up at the TV and there is a teeny tiny newborn baby having a seizure and foaming at the mouth. Ugh. That is not what I need to see or feel at 6 a.m. It turns out it was House on TV. Figures. I turned it off pretty quickly not wanting to get involved with something like that so early. I can think of much better ways to wake up.

Last night a Dora the Explorer special came on TV. Now, I really personally can't stand the show. I think after she sings the backpack song a few zillion times you really don't ever want to hear it again but my kids enjoy it. Gabriella thinks it's great. I told my girls it was on. My oldest was not interested of course. She's too cool for that but this is what the younger three looked like. It was so cute. I had to snap a pic.

How I Deal With Not Feeling the Same

I guess I always thought once someone beat cancer they went right on back to feeling just as they used to. I really believed after a year I'd be my usual old self again and really for the most part I am. The talk I had with the doc at my last appointment really opened my eyes about all the pressure I still have in my neck. I must stress it is NOTHING compared to what I felt when I was sick. It doesn't even compare to how I felt for 2 years before I even knew I was sick. I used to feel a lump in there like all day every day. I felt as though someone had their thumbs jammed into either side of my neck and I felt like I was standing on my head all day long. If my hubby hugged me I'd gag and choke and cough. I really should have known something was terribly wrong but I believed the docs insisting it was my thyroid. I felt constantly frustrated that they wouldn't help me. I didn't know what else to do. I figured I had to live with the discomfort.

Back on the subject at hand though. I have pressure in my neck veins. It does feel like the sensation you would get when standing on your head...but just in my veins in my neck. It's hard to explain. It's a fullness and it's annoying. I discussed it with my oncologist and basically since my vein on the side of the tumor was almost totally blocked off, my blood started working it's way around the problem. It's not quite as efficient. I see new little veins sometimes when I sing or talk a lot. I can tell the veins really pop out and so could he. He said it might get better or more likely I'll get used to it. I love to sing and this does cause some problems with it. It's not major but it makes me hold notes a little less long and it also makes me VERY aware of the bulging veins in my neck. I am worried everyone is looking at me thinking that I am straining myself but truly I am not. It's just like that. I also have this thyroid nodule in my neck that you can see. It's not huge or obviously you'd see it in all my pics. You could see it if you met me and I told you where it was. There are so many things I have to get used to. The scars on my chest I think I am finally accepting as a part of me. I wore my Halloween costume and didn't think much of it until my daughter asked if it bothered me. I shrugged and realized that no...it did not bother me. I think that alone is a pretty big step. I can't wait to be totally used to the different pressure in my neck and I remind myself to just be thankful that it's not like it was!

I was Tagged

I was tagged by Mommy's Little Corner. I'm supposed to share 6 random things about me and pass the torch to 6 other blogging buddies. Here goes..


1.) I love to bake and my speciality is Chocolate Chip Cookies.

2.) I have well over 100 cousins, second and third cousins

3.) I get teary eyed every time I watch A Baby Story even if I promise myself I won't.

4.) My grandfather was a pastor for 32 years before he passed away.

5.) I am always running late. I have to get up about an hour early just because I always think I have enough time when I don't.

6.) In high school my hair was very long and big like Texas hair. lol Ok...maybe not *that* big but you know, big.


I am supposed to tag 6 other bloggers so here goes:


Pink Stinx

Random Ramblings

Mom With Brownies

Neurotic Mom

Following My Calling

Happy to Be Called Mommy




All the sites here are tagged, but I don't want anyone on this list to think you have to do it! I just needed to tag a few blogs so I chose yours.

You Ever Have One of Those Days?

Saturday was the day of our party and for the most part things went pretty smoothly. Everything seemed fine until I decided to do a load of laundry quickly before people got here. I walked into the laundry room and noticed the machine had been quiet for quite some time. I figured maybe it was just in between cycles. I opened the lid and it was full of water. I closed the lid and waited and waited. I left, came back, nothing. It was full of water and not draining or spinning. Ugh. I have no experience fixing a washer and neither does the hubby. He is good with machines but has never worked on a washer. I tell him I think it's broken. He's so busy trying to set up the music and stuff for the party he just sort of sighs and claims he'll get to it. I give up and go off to finish getting ready.

I had loaned the hubby my laptop so that he could play music through it. Not moments later I hear, "What's wrong with your computer?" These are frightening words and ones I really didn't want to hear. It was fine and had been fine. He says the mouse doesn't move at all. It's stuck. So I of course assume he did something which makes him none too happy.

The rest of the night was fine other than myself feeling a scratchy throat coming on AGAIN. I just got over that cold. Hubby went to look at the washing machine yesterday. I had been complaining of the clothes sitting in that water. Ew. So long story short, he saw the problem and it was fairly easy for him to resolve. He fixed it! I was beyond thrilled. Then he realized that he indeed did something to my laptop but just didn't realize it. He pushed the Fn and F7 keys which locks my mouse pad area on my laptop. He just hit the buttons again and it's back to normal. So things are resolved that I thought were going to be awful. I still feel this sore throat coming on strong. I worry more about passing yet another illness onto the baby than myself being sick.

Gabbi will be one in 14 days!!!! My little miracle baby is almost one and I just cannot believe it's been almost a year since that day. I remember it like it was yesterday. Thanksgiving is upon us as well. I love this time of year.

Halloween Party Success

The Halloween Party went very well. It was a lot of fun. My mom came over so that she could keep the kids upstairs. We just let them stay here so they could play in their rooms and Gabbi could sleep if she needed to. They came down and enjoyed the party every now and again. My friend taught the older 3 how to do the YMCA. It was funny. They loved it. But for the most party they were told to stay upstairs and play in their rooms. They didn't really understand why. I wanted them to know that they had their parties and this was mommy and daddy's party. lol

The hubby came as Captain Jack Sparrow and I came as a ladybug. He looked great and I liked mine too. The skirt was a bit short and I felt like I was struggling with yanking it down all night but it was a lot better than the problems I had with my other costume!







My cousin came in and shocked me to death dressed as his girlfriend. Haha That was interesting to say the least. All in all we had Caesar, Cleopatra, a Gypsy fortune teller, an escaped convict, ladybug (me), bumble bee, Captain Jack Sparrow, a vampire lady and a few others I think. It was great. We sang and danced a little and socialized for the most part. I had a great time.



Here is my friend teaching my girls how to do the YMCA








I'm glad we weren't sick anymore and got to enjoy the party.