November? Really?

It's hard for me to believe it's already November. I must say school really makes time fly by. It's been an interesting month for me. I am doing my OB clinical and my Psych clinical right now. I say my days are no longer normal. I see and experience things people just usually don't on a normal basis. I have seen a vaginal delivery and a c-section in just two OB clinicals. I also tended to a baby who needed NICU. I watched that whole process which no, is definitely not easy.

I am loving every minute of it though. I want to take a second to say last week in Psych was particularly special to me. I had dinner in the hospital cafeteria with my teacher. We got to talking and I discovered she graduated from MY high school. She asked my maiden name, I told her, she asked if I knew John and of course this took me by surprise. I said yes that is my dad! She went to school with my dad. She graduated high school with him. I miss my dad so much. It doesn't make me sad or bring up bad things to talk about him anymore. Actually I just like feeling closer to him. If I think of how he suffered and what he went through that's when the tears come. I cry when I talk to him. Every now and then I just need to talk to him so I do. It makes me feel better anyway. I hope somehow that somewhere he can hear me. This was his favorite time of year. Football and family. He loved getting the family together during the Holidays.

*sigh* I miss you dad.

HOPE Video Diary Part I

Here is a video diary from a woman I met online, Liz, who also was diagnosed with cancer while pregnant. It's NOT unheard of. It DOES happen and it doesn't mean the end for your baby or you!

Halloween and My Oncology Follow Up

Gabbi is ready! lol Nah if you ask her she'll tell you she is gonna be a princess. I plan on getting her a princess costume. I am not sure which one yet? I am thinking Cinderella could be a lot of fun to do with her. She loves these little plastic teeth. The orange is just disgusting to me. haha I keep thinking who would want orange teeth fake or not? Yuck.

She gets a kick out of them though and that's what counts!

I saw my doctor on Friday. I had been concerned because my white count was low at my last appointment. I had just had the wisdom teeth pulled though so I was thinking it was related to that. Well this time my count was perfect. All my blood work was great. The doc said I didn't give him anything to do. You really want to hear that from an oncologist. I am glad. I can breathe a little easier now I think. I start to get nervous around checkup time. I have never felt 100% the same. I run out of a breath a bit easier....the pressure in my neck causes it I believe. I still have the thyroid issues. 4 nodules and enlarged. It causes some slight distention in my neck veins that I find COMPLETELY noticeable. I hate it especially when I sing. Well anyway I think that the reason my throat feels more pressure some days than others is allergies. I discussed it with the doc and usually when I'm having a bad "throat" day it coincides with sinus drainage or something. He said those tissues become slightly swollen with allergies and since it's already swollen because of thyroid and scar tissue it makes sense that some days is ok and others not so much. I need to always take my Claritan and maybe something else to relieve this discomfort. My left ear gets to popping and it stuffy as well. I will move my mouth funny or swallow a lot to deal with it. It's not stuffy constantly or popping constantly...it's doing BOTH constantly. It's hard to concentrate and pretend like it's not happening when you're talking to someone. VERY hard. I hate it. It's been bothering me for a long time and getting worse. So we'll get my butt to my endocrinologist and try to deal with it.

Halloween and Dressing Up

I posted about this on my other blog but I really want to see the opinion on this. I absolutely LOVE dressing up for Halloween. As a teen I was sad when I was considered too "old" to dress up. I love it and I missed it. So what did I do as an adult to resolve this problem? I started having a Halloween party every year. I should do a costume contest. I think that would really encourage some interesting costumes. If my parties got big enough I would. I have found my costume for this year. I'm super EXCITED about wearing it.

I guess my question to you is do you feel dressing up for Halloween is just for the kids or can be fun for adults too? I love it. Some adults are too nervous to do it. I think they honestly worry about what other adults think. I'm putting a poll up on this blog and my other blog. I want to see what the general thought is. You know where my vote goes. Any reason to dress up is good to me. :)

Lazy Sunday....With a Side of Studying

It should be the other way around. I have a rather big Psychology test tomorrow. Actually it's Nursing Care of Clients with Psychosocial Problems. That's the name of my class. However I can't imagine telling you all I have a test on that. It's just easier to say "Psychology", wouldn't you agree?

The big problem here is that I don't think I'll make my class tomorrow. The kids all have Columbus Day off. I didn't even realize they still got that day off. There is so much controversy surrounding Columbus and all that he did. From what I gather he wasn't that great of a guy. I'll be honest, at this particular moment I don't care. I just know that I really have no other way but to stay home with my girls. The hubby has to work. My oldest daughter is 13. The idea of leaving a 13, 10 and 8 year old alone all day long isn't a good one I don't think. The 13 year old is mature enough but she might think baking would be a good idea while I'm gone....or she might think punishing her sisters is a great plan. That might involve some hair pulling, biting, hitting, slapping and other not so pleasant things.

Nah I think I have to stay home. That means I'm going to have to make up this test. That sucks. I really don't like having to do that but I am not sure what else I can do. They really should think of these things when they make test days. A lot of my fellow students are parents. Sometimes there is a Holiday. It would be easy enough to not make a test day on a Holiday that schools have off. It puts parents in a real bind.

Going to college as a parent isn't easy. There is so much to consider. If I put the amount into my work that my teachers expect, then my family feels I'm neglecting them. They get upset with me. Then my grades aren't as good. It's hard to balance it all. It goes even so far as to trickle down to my extended family. I don't see my mother or sisters much at all anymore. I did manage to get out and celebrate my sisters birthday last night though! That was a lot of fun. I even met someone who reads my blog. That was really cool! :)

Well back to the studying. Have a great Sunday all!