Friday, December 5, 2008

What to Expect

One big question I think I always have on my mind and I am sure any cancer survivor does is what should I expect now? I realized the fear is worse actually once you are declared "in remission". I hate to say it but it's true. The reason? Well I am not technically cured until I reach the 5 year mark. I don't see the doctor every 2 weeks anymore. I am not surrounded by people trying to fix me anymore. To top it all off during my illness I was also pregnant so I had my regular OB and a high risk OB. I was pretty much always having a doctor's appointment.

After it was all done it was quiet. There weren't any doctors. There was no one trying to make me better. It was done. So, it's easy for paranoid thoughts to creep in on occasion. I have always suffered from a bit of neck tension. On days when it's bad it feels similiar to the pressure I used to get so momentarily I turn neurotic and get scared. Then it goes away. The other pressure did not ever go away. I realize I am being obsessive and stop. The point is I still know that it's normal to feel this way. You can't live your life worrying about tomorrow or what the next day might bring. You really must focus on today and getting through each day as best as you can. And I have definitely realized that worrying about what has not happened and may never happen is a waste of life and your time. Enjoy what you have now...today. Don't waste it. It's too precious. Remember each day is new. There are no mistakes in it yet. It's fresh. So make the most of it.

3 comments:

Doug said...

I like that sentiment: "Remember each day is new; there are no mistakes in it yet." I will try to remember that.

Enjoy your blog and reading about your life. Very inspiring.

Lanie said...

Hi Sandi, don't get into so much stress cause it will get worse when you have cancer and beat the disease until your free and also enjoy every moment with your family. Always pray to god for his miracle. God bless.

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