Saturday, February 7, 2009

Finding Worst Case Scenarios? This Isn't One of Them

I know some people probably come by my blog...see the words "Pregnant With Cancer" and run screaming the other way. I probably would have if I were pregnant. The good news is that this is very very rare. Of all pregnancy complications, chances are this will never happen to you. Even if it did, most likely you could wait for treatment. I was just not that lucky. I had to be treated during my pregnancy. But again, my baby is now 14 months of age and perfectly healthy. She is even quite chunky. I love my little lady. I do think sometimes that people will avoid reading my blog because the idea of being that sick while pregnant is scary. I of course understand this better than anyone. Yet these are not terrible memories for me. I mean the fear was not good, the uncertainty but I have never felt so loved and cared for as I did then.

I realized what I meant to everyone. I knew how much my husband loved me and couldn't live without me. It was already a fact, it just helped me to really see it. I saw the love my children and sisters have for me. There were ups and downs but I learned I had a strength I previously didn't realize I had. I have more confidence in myself now. I know I am strong and I know I can do so much more than I ever thought I could.

So, some good has come from all of this. No one who saw me and my baby girl would ever guess what happened to us. No one would guess what happened to me either. My scar is noticeable but even then, most people do not even ask. I am still so so tempted to say I was in a knife fight. haha I just find that amusing for some reason. I hope those that come to my blog get hope...faith, confidence, reassurance, strength. I think since I have gotten better that is one big thing I'd like others to get from my blog if nothing else. I do still of course have those fears of it coming back and this blog helps me with that too. It's so good to have a place to let it all out.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. I will be going out to a friend's house tonight and hanging out with my sister and her hubby and some other friends too. Maybe I'll get pics. :)

1 comment:

Angelika said...

I've nominated you for a blog award. Stop by my blog and check it out! :-)