Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Day to Day Life
I sometimes wonder if the little bit of worry will always be in my mind. Do I sit around all day and stress and worry about the cancer coming back? No. However there is not one day that goes by when I don't at least think about it a few times. It may be a fleeting thought but it's there. I knew during treatment that it would be more difficult after treatment was over. It's pretty common actually. Once you aren't seeing the doctors every single week and having everything monitored you feel almost abandoned. Now I am on my own to make sure I feel fine. I don't want to be paranoid and yet I don't want to let symptoms slip by like I did for years. What is a healthy amount of concern? I am not sure and after you go through this it's hard to know what is really normal anymore. I am thinking my upcoming scans may give me some serious peace of mind. I am really hoping for it. I happen to know my thyroid is seriously messed up though. I have a feeling I'll hear about it because I can feel the nodules in my neck. That's scary for a person who has had cancer in that area. The last thing you want to feel is a lump. The only good thing is they have been there for years and the doctors know it. But they are bigger. They are much bigger so I am wondering if we may not have to make a decision because it's uncomfortable and honestly my neck feels sore frequently. So hopefully we can get that taken care of and maybe just maybe I'll feel close to normal again!