Thursday, October 16, 2008

What Day is This?

Oh. It's the 16th. Yes...my follow up is on the 23rd. It's not too far away so I don't have to sit here thinking about it for too much longer. I think the closer I get the more concerned I get with pressure and all that. The fact of the matter is, and one I do regularly deny to myself, is that the pressure has never gone totally away. Phew. Saying that to me, is scary. Scary because then you ask yourself, is the cancer really gone? Then I remind myself I had a PET scan, I feel great, and my blood tests have been normal. The truth is though that vein on my neck has never stopped totally sticking out and still when I sing I feel a lot of pressure in my neck though not nearly what I felt in the old days. I have absolutely discussed some lingering pressure to the doc. Back when I mentioned it he said something about a lot of scar tissue in there, and how it won't be the same. =/ My doctor even said that if I ever had something bad happen to me, like a car accident and the ER did x-rays or whatever of me that they would panic thinking something was terribly wrong with me because my lymph nodes are permanently enlarged and there is a blob of scar tissue in my chest that they would probably think WAS cancer. So I basically have to always be conscious to tell anyone who does a scan of me of any kind that it's normal for me. lol I think the big huge scar on my chest is kind of a sign that something happened there. ;)

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