They positioned me so I could see out the window. The sun was just creeping over the horizon. It was beautiful. The helicopter is very loud. They said I could put some headphones on if I needed to, but I kind of liked just looking out that window, the hum of the helicopter blades in my ears. I looked out across the flat beautiful land and watched the sun come up, wondering what was in store for me. I felt peace. You wouldn't think going through all of this you'd have such a strong peace. I did. I knew she would be ok. I just knew it. It was all a new beginning for me and a start for Gabriella. I had just finished chemo and I was bringing a new life into this world. Her life was like a symbol for me. She symbolized strength and getting well...new beginnings. That sun just coming up over the horizon just made that feeling stronger. A new day. No mistakes yet. No bad news. Just hope.
I got to the hospital. I was alone of course. The hubby had to take the kids 2 hours the opposite direction to my parent's house. He had to take our dog to the kennel. We weren't ready for any of this! We expected it to all be organized when I was induced. That wasn't what Gabriella had in mind though. She was coming when she wanted. I got to the hospital in about 20 minutes. It was around 6:30 a.m. when I got in and hooked up. My contractions were just starting to feel bad enough that I had to breathe slowly through them around 9 a.m. I was worried that by the time my hubby got there that I'd be in a lot of pain. It wasn't bad yet...but since I have done this 3 times before I knew it could get bad in a second. Finally around 10 a.m. the hubby got there. I had the epidural literally seconds after he walked in. My mother was there too. My dad was watching the kids. I loved having my mom there with me. She was really excited as well.
We had a whole lot of docs. There were regular docs and the nurses and docs for the NICU. None of us knew what to expect. Four weeks early and months of chemo. It was so uncertain. I progressed pretty quickly from there. I pushed for maybe 10 minutes tops, and Gabriella was born. I wanted to hear her cry, to know she was ok. She did. I heard her crying and that was it. Mom and dad were crying too! We were looking at her, and just seeing how perfect she was. There were still tests to be done and the docs needed to examine her but she looked perfect. She needed no NICU. She was doing great. She was born 6 lbs. 2 oz. and 18 inches long at 2:10 p.m. on November 17th, 2007.
I felt good too. I didn't take my eyes off of her. I really couldn't. I loved her so much and we'd been through so much together. Her life and mine will always have a bond. She won't possibly understand how much of a miracle her life is for a long time. She won't understand what her life meant to me and my husband for many years. I will always tell her and make sure she knows. We beat cancer together.